Wellness

I think that being a mother has made me a better runner. I hope that being a consistent runner again will help me be a better mother.

I ran another 10K. It was my cousins birthday who just won the Utah Valley Marathon. She is amazing and I wanted to run this race to celebrate. My husband is curious as to why I would want to do that and he is wondering how many more I will try to run this summer. I don't know myself. But I told him that its like practicing all the time for basketball and never being able to play a game. I think if I don't race a little I will eventually stop running because I'm not doing it to lose weight. I already talked about it in another post so I'll stop talking about it. But the fun thing is that I came in first in my age again! I was so excited. This race had a lot of up hill. It was tough. I was in pain and discomfort not wanting to run anymore, but I told myself that the other runners were in pain too and that I can do it. I had my music which was a life saver. As I ran through the discomfort I also was thinking about the exhausting work raising kids is, let alone the deliveries! If I can do that day in day out this race is no big deal. I think everyone should be involved in running 10K's or run/walk 5k's. Its so great to be outside and run with people in the community, its like being around a lot of good energy and wellness.--a big group of the runners are  moms like me too! 

After we got home I felt more energy. I puttered around all day trying to get things done. I felt healthy and good. I also feel more aware of what I eat and try to be more healthy all around. I was so happy to see my husband who got the kids out of bed early to see me at the finish line. I loved coming into the finish seeing my little family and their smiling faces.
Love and Light~

Nominated

As I said in my previous post I want to thank Sorta SuperMom for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger award! Very exciting!
The rules for accepting this award:
1. Thank the person who nominated you.
2. Tell 7 things about yourself.
3. Nominate other bloggers the same award.

This is hard to think of 7 things to share about myself!
Here goes:

1. I am the youngest of 6 children and my parents divorced when I was 4. I think I'm a fourth generation Mormon on at least one line. If not, then my kids definitely are. It is a huge part of my life. I try to live the teachings of Jesus Christ in all I do. That doesn't mean I do it perfectly, key word I try! I have many relatives and friends who aren't active or Mormon and I love them and respect their different journey. I made the choice at a young age to be committed to the gospel. I made covenants and promises to Heavenly Father that I am determined to keep. I especially love love the Book of Mormon. It is the most amazing book! The stories are exciting and the teachings are life changing. When I read it, I feel so good and I know that the words are true!

2. I love to ride horses. My visitations with my dad included working on his horse ranch/farm on the weekends and horse pack trips in the summer times. We raise Missouri Fox Trotters. My dad, brother and I rode horses the most out of the family. I learned a lot of great lessons from my dad working on the ranch and riding horses. I gained a lot of self confidence and felt that I had a lot of value as a woman and that I am strong, smart and have a lot to contribute in this world. I learned to do hard uncomfortable things and to face my fears....which brought about a lot of satisfaction when projects were completed, muscles strengthened and a horse dominated into a fine, smooth riding, swift machine. Riding horses makes me feel alive and free. My season in life right now is difficult to ride horses but there will be more time for that to come!

3. In high school I found a love for sports. I love basketball. I was so into the sport I would have died right on the court if my coach asked me too! The lessons about life I learned through organized sports is priceless to me. I learned a lot about being part of a team, commitment, discipline, sacrifice and how to push myself when I want to stop. My first try outs my coaches asked: "Did you grow up on a farm?" They were surprised at my work ethic. My final game my senior year I made 31 points in one game. I also loved track. That is more of an individual sport. I'm not naturally fast but with a lot of hard work I finally made it to State in the 100 meter hurdles and took 6th. I love and hate to run. I love to sweat and feel good after a hard work out. Sports helped me so much and was one of my anchores growing up.

4. I ran a 26 mile marathon in 2001 with a few friends from school. I felt like I could do anything after that. Next month I am running a half marathon to commemorate that I'm still that same person from 10 years ago and 4 children later.

5. Although I wanted to be a nurse and finish college and go on a mission I knew that instead I would marry early in life. I wanted so badly to create my own family that was happy and together. I made the choice to be a stay at home mother and wife as a career. I felt that that would be fulfilling my highest potential as a woman and that that would make the greatest impact on society. Being a mother is the hardest most important job in this world. I do plan on going back to school when my kids are grown. {Actually the funny thing is that I forget to ever mention that I work from home. I manage a small storage unit facility! But my main job is wife and mother!} I am grateful for my mothers example of being there when I got home from school and watching her cook fantastic yummy meals for the family. She loved to cook and make everyone happy with full tummies. I gained a love of cooking from her! She also taught me a love for great food and the fun in eating out! She often took me to Mexican or Chinese restaurants. I would say her favorite was Chinese
----I'm very good at using chop sticks! 
I married in the temple for time and eternity when I was 19 to my high school sweetheart. That also means that I was a virgin until after I was married.--which is not an easy accomplishment even for us Mormons! He is a couple of years older then me and so he went on a mission to England while I finished up high school and had a semester of college under my belt when he got home. Six months after he got home we were married. I love being married!

6. I often break out in song when I am home with my kids. I even make up songs and use actions to go along with it. I like to see the looks on their faces and they laugh. Andrea looks at me like I'm a big dork but the toddlers love it! I even do it when I watch my friends kids! It makes them feel instantly comfortable to see this goofy mom. As much as I wish I was a good singer like my brother, I'm not. I really have terrible pitch. Its embarrassing but I still like to sing! My favorite music is uplifting, churchy music. Not the depressing kind but more....uplifting, or soft music. It calms me.

7. Although it seems slightly appealing and sometimes I wish I was, and every once in awhile I will do one, the truth is and I'll finally admit it,---I am not crafty.

I now nominate these awesome women:

What Happiness Is
12 Makes a Dozen
Empowering LDS Women
Dear and Beloved

That was hard!
~Love and Light!

For Myself?

I ran my very first 10K this morning. It went really well. I felt good which was a worry for me since I had a bad run last week. I kept chanting in my head, "I am strong, I feel Good, I am Amazing." Just to keep any doubts about myself away. It was really fun and made me feel alive and....myself. Is there a "myself" anymore? Its easy to lose sight of self when I've been in the trenches of pregnancy and young motherhood for 8 years now. I feel like there is something inside of me trying to get out more. I'm still here, trying to get some air! My spirit is needing a little nurture by taking care of this body of mine. This is something I can do for the most part before the kids even wake up. Although I never want to get out of my warm bed there is something greater inside me saying, "We have to have some air or we will die."---geese that sounds like Smeagle on Lord of the Rings! Who is talking now? hahaI run for myself but the whole family benefits. Maybe its not for myself as much as I think. I've committed myself to God and my family and that means I have to have a good self to offer. What greater gift to give to God and family then my best self? The sad, discouraged, I can't smile today self is pathetic! I don't want that self....and hopefully I'll see less and less of that one.

I've taken 10 years off from running. I'm ready to run again! I took 1st in my age division. And ran 47:05 (7:34 Min/Mi) I feel good about it!
Love & Light & Good Health To You From Me~

Summing Up the Day

My hubby is welding right now at 8:30 at night. That's his way of relaxing and relieving stress. He loves customizing things and making things better. My girls are giggling on the trampoline with their sleeping bags. I wonder if they will stay there all night. My two babies are sleeping peacefully. Damon keeps getting in bed with us in the night. When he falls back to sleep I take him back to bed so I can sleep. He must have waken up in his bed realizing where he was and came back to our bed. That happened three times. I told him tonight to please stay in his bed tonight. I don't think he understood me.

I don't know whats going on with blogger. But I can't comment on most peoples blogs and I can't get a gadget to work to put my 'What's for dinner?' back on.

I've been taking a couple of weeks off from my two week meal planning and cooking from scratch. Luckily I keep a good supply of basic things and have been able to whip up quick meals. Tonight we had canned chili with a can of diced tomatoes and chopped onion. It makes canned chili almost homemade! Shredded cheese on top with a dollop of sour cream. Sour cream is a major staple at our house. I have to keep two tubes of it on hand. It goes in strogenof, cakes, tacos, chili,......
I also made a simple BBQ chicken on the stove with steamed broccoli and potato pearls (instant mashed potatoes). I never had instant mashed potatoes EVER when I was growing up. We did have some on hand only for cinnamon roll dough. Making mashed potatoes my husband thinks is labor intensive. But to me its easy and well worth it and most of the time the only way! You wouldn't believe the pride in my family over mashed potatoes. If anyone asks me to make them for our family event I start to feel anxiety. Luckily that never happens because Cheryl claims the honors and prides herself as the queen if its not my mom making them, who is the ultimate and first master and queen of the mashed potatoes. Food is a huge deal in my family. If you make good food you will be praised over and over again, but if it is bad--watch out. You'll never hear the end of it either. So it is a two edged sword! So when I bring food to an event, I get all nervous and wait for the verdict. "Oh Julie, this is the best Salsa I ever had!" "This....Julie...is the best Chicken Mexicali I've ever had." "The only thing that would make this banana bread better would be walnuts!" "Eww who made the pork? It has waaay too much sugar in it!" "Who wants to go out to eat because this is like desert!?" I have to laugh at this because I say my family when really its my brother James. Luckily, he almost always praises my food but I still worry!
I pulled out Rhodes rolls too the other day and had fried chicken with scones. Something I learned from my mother-in-law.
We had sandwiches even one night. Since it is warm out it feels nice not to have big meals planned every day. I'm really enjoying the break and looking forward to making my next two week plan.

I've been spending the last few days trying to get a handle on the kids clothes. The putting away of the small clothes and bringing out the bigger clothes and trying to figure out what clothes the girls won't wear, etc... I hate the clothes! Its a never ending ordeal! Today I think I finally got it done....for a few months. I spent time going up and down in the attic and now I have the creepy crawlies and can't stop sneezing. These allergies are ridiculous for me this year. I also got out the 72 hr kits and updated Bella's clothes in it and added cloth diapers. I'm such a weirdo because I got way too much satisfaction out of updating our kits! If the world ends....our kits will be ready! haha! Have I ever mentioned how completely Mormon I am?

I had a great day today with the kids. Although I'm tired, I love being with them. I'm feeling blessed with peace of mind today and I felt like I handled the day really well with the kids.  Each day is a new day that I can try to be better then the day before.
Love and Light~

Well I'm excited that a fellow mom blogger Sorta SuperMom nominated me for a versatile blogger award! I don't know what that means yet. So I'll be figuring it out and posting later.

This morning I ran at 5. Which I don't like to do because its dark and cool. I found myself running alone this time. When I'm running alone (with my pepper spray :) I find myself praying. "Help me please be a good wife and mother today. Help me quiet the raging child inside my head throwing tantrums. Help her be quiet and help me be mature, organized and prioritize my day with the most important things...."
The flatness is getting to me a little bit. I'm thinning down but I don't know if the flatness is worth it. I've got a whole post about that in the works...if I dare post it. My hormones I think are a little whacked and my emotions are raging. How does one handle the raging emotions of this mortal life? Another post about that in the works as well, if I dare post it.
I think I will because I think my truth would help others. Anyone interested in those subjects?

I'm happy to spend the day with my kids and hope for a calm mind even though my kids are fighting over my baby's new presents....
Love & Light

Beautiful Day

Today I celebrate the birth of my fourth child Bella Marie.

I am filled with gratitude when I think back a year ago at my wonderful giving birth experience and all the tender mercies I had getting her here.

I look at her today and I'm filled with joy and happiness that she is my daughter and I am her mother.

Love & Light~

I see you...

I ate breakfast with my kids this morning. We had cold cereal. I looked at their faces and watched them eat. I don't usually sit at the table and watch them eat like that. At dinner I'm usually buisy with talking to Wade about his day and keeping Bella happy. I need to relax and take it easy, open my eyes to my kids more.

After dinner Wade wanted to plant the garden. We didn't get very far and just planted a few tomatos. We are ditching the soaker hoses and water manifold and watering by hand. I'm hoping the garden will grow! We had an accident with Damon holding a spade shovel and Andrea running into it with her eye. I thought her eye got poked out because of her screams. I almost paniked. I had a hard time smiling and being pleasant. I finally made it to the tub to relax. When I got out Wade was in bed. I thought that was a good idea, especially since I had been up since 4:45 and ran 10 miles. I looked at the kitchen before I went to bed and sighed at the sight of dinner out and the dirty dishes. I gave in and just went to bed. I felt a little bad because thats something I'm trying to change from my up bringing (going to bed with a dirty kitchen) but this time I thought, "I don't care right now!"
Love & Light~

Help Me!

My legs hurt. I'm really tired. Getting ready to go camping is a big pain. I don't really look forward to it these days because its so much work. I enjoy it when we are out and its good family time, but for me its exhausting. The worst part is after we come home; cleaning up, putting stuff away. It takes days before everything is normal again.
It seems to be the cheapest form of vacation for us and the memories are priceless. The kids love it. They get to be outside and use there imagination.
I'm excited this time to go to the dunes with my sister. We haven't ever done that together before. I don't know why I'm writing. I should go to bed. Good Night.

We woke up at 4:30 to leave the house by 6. We got about an hour away when we broke down. Luckily we limped it home. Wade was able to fix it by 2 pm and we went close by to camp instead of the dunes. We had a lovely windy time. The kids had fun. A felt crazy only a couple of times.

The day after we come home from being out of town is my lowest moments.
Another weekend we left unexpectedly and I wasn't able to have the house clean before we left. That makes the day coming home 10 times worse. I'm already so behind when I walk into the door. We left at 8 am to make it home in time to go to church. Wade called me the slave driver! But we already missed the week before and didn't want to find a teacher for us. We got home and bathed the babies and Wade and I worked together as a team. It was such a relief to go to Sacrament meeting. I forgot about fast Sunday but was happy to hear fast and testimony meeting. The meeting started off fantastic with a great testimony from a brother in the ward who just went to the temple the day before and was sealed to his wife and children. He bore testimony about the temple and felt that angels were there helping his children be reverent and able to make it through the ceremony. I felt the spirit so strong that what he was saying was true and noticed my husband tearing up with the spirit as well. I knew that all the rushing around that day was worth it to feel the spirit. We had a great time teaching in primary. The kids were so messed up with their schedules. Damon had been eating candy all day to keep him happy in the car. After church I had left overs to eat and Damon wouldn't eat it. He is on a total sugar high. He and Bella fell asleep about 4:30 and woke up at 6. Not good. Damon found some Doritos and left the bag on the floor and Bella found it and dumped the whole bag on the floor. I was mad and asked the household....."And who will be cleaning that up?" Andrea walks in from being outside in my leather boots and scuffs them up. My house remember is a disaster!!  I completely lose it, yell and hid in my bathroom to take a bath. I sit in the bath and feel so overwhelmed and out of control. I'm hanging my head with defeat. I'm thinking I'm really going to screw Andrea up and feel hopeless. I start praying. But I still feel crazy. I can't handle the bath anymore and get out feeling guilty and hear two of my babies crying. Wade is some how tuning all of this out. I lay on the bed with the two babies who have stopped crying now that they are crawling all over me and cry out in my mind. "Help me God! Help me, Help me please!"
I realize that Bella needs fed. I, at this point am very quiet and lethargic. I notice Andrea is not around and find that after I got upset she went to her bed and fell asleep. As I feed Bella I hear Wade say with conviction, "Okay." As if he has now tuned in.
All the sudden I see magic happen. He rounds the troops and gains control of the house. The girls are working in their rooms and before I know it he is vacuuming the whole house. All of this brings the life back into me and I chip away at the kitchen and get it cleaned up. Andrea is avoiding eye contact. She spilled the hair box all over the floor and was cleaning it up after Daddy told her to. I knelt down by her and started helping her. I told how sorry I was for getting upset again. How I'm going to do better and I am working on being more patient. I said how we are here on this earth to learn and grow and that means me too. I said how grateful I am that she is my daughter helping me learn patience and how to be a better mother. I told her what a good daughter she is...... We hug. The house is almost spotless and I feel like I'm about to cry. I'm not overwhelmed, the kids and house are in order and I realize my pleading prayers were answered.
Love & Light~

Hello Friend

Yes I'm talking to you. You know you don't say much. It makes me sad when its always me talking, you listening. Plus you don't even want me to know your listening. Am I all alone? I struggled today with the little things again. I know you stuggle too sometimes, course you don't mention it. I wish you would, then maybe I would be more motivated to keep writing and telling my story.  Some days are so easy, some days aren't easy at all. I wonder sometimes what I should say, but you don't give me much feedback. Sometimes during my day the words start flowing into my mind of what I want to write. But then I wonder, why write it?
Love and Light,
Julianne

ps 3 post scheduled for the next few days