Monday, December 9, 2013


I had 4 children in roughly a 1,000 sq/ft house for almost 9 years. I don't understand completely why it was so hard on me. We had amazing happy times there. The memories with our children have been priceless. It was a convenient location in town. We tried to sell our little house by the freeway for many months. There wasn't much hope. People didn't like the area. It was tough to try to get the price we needed. At the beginning of the year I gave up. I was determined to be happy. Its not that I was miserable all the time there. Some stages were just harder then others. The hardest being when we had a little baby and all the extra equipment was packed in the house. Like high chairs, bouncers, etc.... Or when we had a big family get together. Wade had been talking about having a fifth baby for a year. I was scared. Another baby in the same house......I didn't know if I could do it. I've had no one in diapers in a year in a half and have been feeling really good. I've had a renewed independence. We easily go here and there. Its been great fresh air. All the running Ive been doing and sometimes with my older girls has added to the sense of refreshment. In January I decided like I said to give up getting out of the house. I prayed seriously about giving up my will and accepting God's will in my life. Its not easy to do. Its so easy to revert back. I often got mad about the American Dream. "Its just pride." I told myself.

We got a dog. As we looked at these cute puppies my husband looked confused at me. "Are you sure you want a dog??? In our little house???" I said, "Our kids are growing up and what difference does it make? Our house is so small I can easily keep on eye on her and train her. I'm not waiting around to live our lives because of a small house." It truly has been a great blessing. I didn't realize how badly my children needed a dog. They had no animal skills at all! We named her Star. My son was scared of her for a long time. Now he plays with the dog the most. The reason I wanted a dog was to have another running partner. It has been a blast running with her this summer. So I was in the mindset that I may not ever leave my house. I told Heavenly Father if you really want me to have another child here....I will. With your help! But in a miraculous change of events in the middle of July we got a cash offer on our house and we moved out one week later signed and deal closed. I then found I was pregnant and soon miscarried. I was shocked for a few weeks. But I thought I told you Lord that I would be happy here? We moved quickly into an even smaller apt with no garage until we could think long enough to figure out where to go next. I couldn't believe my house sold. Heavenly Father sold my house! It sold because He wanted it to.

Wade and I went to the temple and thought about what we should do next. That night we thought about the old church and wondered if it was still for sale. We had looked at it a year ago and it was way over priced. We loved the property. Wade had a friend who grew up there and I had driven passed it a million times because it is next to my dad's horse ranch. I always wanted to go inside it.  At the time we first looked at it it was way over priced and....we were stuck in our little house. But now our situation had changed. So we lay in bed and the thoughts of the old church came back. Is it still for sale? Has it been reduced? We talked again about all the great things about the property and what we could do with it. I told Wade I would call the realtor in the morning to see if it was available. I did so and found out that it was still for sale and just drastically reduced in price a few days prior. We scheduled a showing with our realtor and decided that if we were to make an offer we would need to do it now before it sells. It was a sleepless night. I remember Wade saying to me with his hands clasped together as he paced the kitchen floor, "What do you really think?" I said "When I think about it logically and do a day care out of it to earn extra money for repairs it makes sense because the price is right." I was already used to living in a small space. The church although a lot of square footage only has two toilets and one shower. It has 3 functioning bedrooms right now. Right now I have no master bathroom and we are living with one toilet for 6 people. I felt like I already know that its not a house or money that makes you happy. You can be happy in any situation. I know that we will improve the property over time and that I have already learned a lot of patience. He said, "Lets do it!" We made an offer and after some negotiations we became under contract. It was amazing! It was a very stressful couple of months. We had to line up all the financing, do inspections, etc....
During this time I found out I was pregnant again! After a couple of inspections that we did we found out that most of the roof leaks. There was a lot of water damage in exterior walls and interior walls. That scared me the most. All the water from the roof pours down into the foundation of the building. Wade was not worried at all. He said that he can fix the roof and divert the water away from the building and the walls will dry up. I was scared to death. I said, "well when would be able to fix the roof?" I said that it had to be done before winter. He said that we didn't have time before winter and that whats one more winter when its been like this for years. I started to become more and more afraid and uncomfortable. The heat system is a coal boiler that heats water and the steam goes through pipes in the whole building and heat radiates from radiators connected to these pipes. To Wade this was no problem. He is a professional heating and cooling technician and is very confident in updating this system. But the roof put me over the edge in fear. I at one point told Wade I wasn't ever going back there. He was very upset at me. He thought that this was the best choice out there and that if we were to build a house it would cost way more money and be much smaller. He never wavered in the vision of the property. Nothing scared him about the problems. I thought who is following the Spirit and who is not. Is he blinded by emotion? One of my friends said to me, "Why don't you just trust your husband?" I wondered what had happened to me. For about two weeks I was very much depressed about the whole thing. We went to the temple. We talked in the parking lot for a long time. Wade used his best skills in talking me through all this. It worked. He says, "Do you really think I want to move to a house with NO garage?" Thats true I thought. He is either crazy or following the Spirit. We agreed that in the temple we would try to feel the Spirit as to what we should do. I asked him to please put his emotions aside. I was worried that he was too emotionally involved that he couldn't see the problems.  I cried and cried in the temple. I decided that I couldn't control this situation anymore. I give up...AGAIN! I was trying to control the outcome. I told Heavenly Father that if this wasn't right for us to do to please stop this deal because I can't. And that if it was right that our financing would smoothly move forward. If it be wrong stop this for me. If it be right help me have faith instead of fear. I felt a burden lifted as I put my life again in God's hands. Why do I try to control my life? Its such a trick we deal with on this earth. I have agency to make choices but its Heavenly Father's plan I'm trying to follow. The next day Wade gave me a priesthood blessing that helped me very much. I became more resolute and confident. I replaced fear with faith. If Heavenly Father wants this to happen who am I to stop it. He will provide a way and help us deal with the problems that will come.

We bought an old church, I know its crazy!!! Built in 1912. I plan on making a blog about the restoration.
It was a complete miracle that we were able to get a loan and insurance on this property. We feel that this has been Heavenly Father's plan from the first time we looked at the property over a year ago. We love the history of this building and are so excited to restore it. We know this is a long term project. If you have the right attitude you can do anything. We had a small amount of money to do some repairs before we move in. Mostly electrical, paint and flooring. We have been working on it for a month now. We have to move in ASAP because we can't pay two rents. One of the first days we were tearing out carpet I kept seeing Wade with a distant look on his face. It was hard at first to see all the work that needed to be done and where to get started. He had a look of, "What have we done!" But I felt cheerful starting the work because I had already gone through so much while deciding to buy the place. I know what I'm in for and had the confidence from the confirmation of the Spirit that we are following the right path. I am so grateful that I went through such a hard time in deciding to purchase the property. I know that it will give me strength through the coming years. I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. It is frustrating some times because only when we are very still can we hear the promptings. I really wanted a huge vision or revelation during the purchasing time to give me clear answers. I begged and begged for a big revelation. But I didn't get my answer that way. Heavenly Father quietly and gently lead me through small feelings. I was totally in the dark while He lead me along. It is always by hindsight that I get the clear picture. I can clearly see the events and how following the simple small promptings blessed my life. I hope to learn to move forward with more faith instead of doubting and fearing. Heavenly Father knows the timing in delivering us in any trial or problem we face. He lead us through unemployment, living in a very small home for many years, health problems, etc....
Heavenly Father is the living God. He plays an active roll in our lives if we just pay attention and seek Him. Miracles are all around us. We must be patient. This is my hope to all. Money does not bring us happiness. Bigger homes do not bring us happiness. If we submit our will to Heavenly Father's will we can see clearly and have peace and joy in the daily moments.

This Christmas season although we don't have a big tree up and wont until very close to Christmas and a very small budget I am filled with more gratitude than ever. With all the hard work comes less idle time to complain. Whats important is being together as a family. Working together, playing together. My children have been learning how to sweep, vacuum, pull up nails and carry wood. Andrea said to me today as I drove her to school, "Everyone has their Christmas tree up but us. I wish we bought a nice big house up in Fiddlers." I didn't say anything but just know that someday she will understand. Wade says that this will change our families life as we have better opportunities to teach our children to work by being in the country and that they can't see the vision we have of the property and what it will become.

"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not. Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven."

And lastly we can find Christ in Christmas:
"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock and it shall be opened unto you."

(D&C 88:63, 6:36,37)

Life is so full of ups and downs. Carry on! Be brave! He delivers us! Be patient! Look for the miracles in your life!
Love and Light~

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

I've stopped running and the writing bug is back.
I'm thinking about daylight savings time. We went to church last Sunday and we were only a minute late but the congregation was singing. I all the sudden panicked at the doorway and pushed Wade back into the foyer and asked, "Is it daylight savings???" He said no because it would be fall back an hour and we would be an hr early. I laughed. We have showed up to church atleast 4 times either early an hr or late an hr. It is so fun to sit down at church with all your kids filing in behind you during a song and realize it was the closing song. I think its because we aren't in the habbit of watching the news Saturday nights. But my phone notified me this year. I won't be missing it this Saturday. I get to sleep in an hr on my birthday!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

missed me?

I really don't know why I'm not posting anymore. I don't know what has happened to me but I haven't even seen nienie's baby thats how out of the blogging loop I am! I'm in the moment right now with my kids, I'm crazy to type right now. I've been hand writing things down this summer in a journal. I've lost my purpose of blogging at all. I think part of it was when I started running I didn't have that great need to express myself and get out because I was getting so much fresh air most mornings. I started thinking maybe I shouldn't give my thoughts for everyone to read. There must be a balance somewhere that I can find. I'm struggling knowing which good things to focus on.

The law of sacrifice is like the law of gravity. It is so tangible and real. Most people don't even know they live with this law. There is only so much time in a day. If you do something in any moment, than your not doing something else in that moment. Something else is being sacrificed when you decide to do something in any given moment. So it is with projects, activities, errands, etc.... If you spend half the morning grocery shopping and the afternoon painting something, you can't make bread, soup and laundry, and scrapbook, etc....Sacrifices are being made bad or good.
We all have to make sacrifices to have certain things. What is the most important thing to you? What are you willing to sacrifice to have it? You can't have it all. Its impossible in this life.
I hope to figure it out. Or if I do figure it out I hope to realize it and enjoy it.
One day at a time.

This topic of Sacrifice reminds me of the greatest novel I have ever read. This summer I read Les Miserables. Jean Val Jean sacrificed all he had for others and was completely selfless. The next day after I finished the book I was reading the visiting teaching message for the month and it was about being a disciple of Jesus Christ through sacrifice and service. I felt like Wow I can do so much more!
Jesus Christ gave up everything in this world including his life for me and you. How can I complain or feel sad about my small sacrifices? Perspective is so hard to keep! One day at a time...

Off to make dinner! Love and Light~

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


The Book of Mormon is like water to me. I must have it every day to live. But there are other things besides water that we need to live. Our life is a juggle of the many good things we need and doing it all in moderation and priority. I've been searching for things to help me live a healthy happy life in this crazy world and especially with the spiritual war ragging on. I'm very happy about the new tool I have found thanks to a kind family member. Two months ago I hosted my first doTerra class. doTerra is a Utah company who sells pure essential oils. As I sat in the class and listened to her experience and she taught us what an essential oil is I felt really good inside and felt the truth in what she was saying. I felt this desire to get some oils and experience them for myself.  I invested in a kit and book and my journey started. I began using an oil every day and studying about them. I was also very interested because Frankincense and Myre are some of the essential oils. Pure Frankincense and Myre! I thought about how they were given as gifts to the baby Jesus along with Gold. What is it about these two oils that were given as gifts to the Savior? I have been amazed at what I'm learning. I want this a part of my life! There are amazing physical and emotional benefits to these oils. My children love it when I put oils on them. Especially lavender. I didn't used to particularly like the synthetic perfume of lavender. But the pure lavender oil smells amazing! I've been putting the oil On Guard which is a blend of oils on the bottom of my families feet when I feel a cold coming on. Since Feb. non of us have gotten a bad cold. I don't believe these oils replace modern day medicine but I believe they can help fight disease and especially prevent disease.

One of the neat things about the oils is it promotes a lot of healthy touching as I put oils on my family members. My husband and I started doing this aromaTouch with the oils on each others backs. Its a light back massage with the oils. It smells and feels amazing. I think it really adds to our marriage to connect in that way. I thought wow to live 50 years of marriage doing this aromaTouch on each other will really add a lot to our relationship! AromaTouch adds another dimension to the feelings of love and care. Its hard to explain.

Ive been journaling my experiences as I've been trying out the oils. One in particular is exciting with losing weight. Not that I feel I need to lose weight but I do want to maintain what I have. I work hard at watching what I eat but sometimes its easy to do and sometimes its not. When I start running a lot I find myself hungry all the time. I'm actually working up this huge appetite! You can find that you can actually gain weight when your exercising all the time. And than when your trying to watch what you eat your hungry all the time. Its not fun to feel hungry!
One day a couple of weeks ago I was doing a spiritual fast since I missed fasting on fast Sunday. This was on a Tuesday and I knew it would be difficult to fast without food and water all day doing my normal work. So I decided to fast without food but still drink water. I put a few drops of lemon essential oil into my water. Not only did it taste nice but I noticed that I actually felt a little strength and that it took the edge off my hunger. I felt like it was helping me not feel so hungry!
I've been drinking a glass of water with lemon essential oil most mornings now. Its also very good for your body! I now have been learning about this essential oil blend called Slim and Sassy. Its actually called the metabolic blend. It has grapefruit, lemon, peppermint, ginger and cinnamon in it. These oils are known to increase your metabolism, manage hunger and uplift your mood. You put 8 drops in 16 oz of water. It tastes amazing!
I just thought I would share in case anyone is interested. If you want to learn more let me know and I can teach you!
I also noticed that Damon one day was complaining that his neck hurt. I felt his neck and noticed that his lymph nodes under his ears were very swollen and tender. I texted my dad and he said if there was pain and fever we should start antibiotics. There was no fever yet. I looked up in my book about swollen lymph nodes and it said what oils to use. I didn't have the second oil it mentioned but I had lavender which was the top oil it mentioned. It said to rub the oil on the swollen lymph nodes. I did that that night. Plus it is very calming and helps you sleep! The next day it was still swollen but still no fever. I put it on every night for a few nights. The tenderness went away and the fever never came and the swelling went down. I don't know for certain if the oil was the reason he got better but its a good experience non the less to think about.
My Andrea complains of having a hard time breathing every single night. There happens to be an oil blend called Breathe. It smells a little like menthol but all natural. She wants it on her chest every night! I've borrowed a diffuser that lets you put the oil into the air. There are benefits to the aromas of the oils and some of them kill viruses and bacteria in the air!! wow!
I am experiencing a lot of emotional benefits that I'm not going to go into right now. I am very happy so far with my experiences and I keep thinking about people who could benefit like me! Lastly I want to share my new favorite scripture that has really just verified my feelings of the good in natural plants.
Alma 46:40
And there were some who died with fevers, which at some seasons of the year were very frequent in the land--but not so much so with fevers, because of the excellent qualities of the many plants and roots which God had prepared to remove the cause of diseases, to which men were subject by the nature of the climate--

I feel good having oils on hand to help us all be healthier and prevent diseases when especially these times are so crazy and health care so expensive. (I also have antibiotics in storage! Which I also recommend!!) It feels empowering to be able to have natural things on hand to use and not have to be at the mercy of the health care system for every little ailment and continue learning!

~Have a happy day with lots of Love, Light, and Learning!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


I'm having a weird day. My eyelid is swollen. It started itching last night. I could see the hive coming on. I took benadryl and went to sleep. I woke up with a very puffy eye but no more itching. It's not going away so I'm staying in doors! I hope it leaves by tomorrow.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Windy Day!

I'm excited today to stay home and do laundry and clean/organize the house. Yesterday I was running errands and the kids around all day.

Bella and I are hanging out together.
I didn't run this morning because I didn't want to go out in the cold wind. Now I'm feeling lazy. Im going to try to do at least a 20 min work out inside to get my heart rate up.

It's going to be a good day.
Love & Light~

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Tuesday Journal Thoughts

We moved out family night to Tuesdays. Last night we had dinner of Chicken just cooked on with light olive oil/seasoning salt and lemon pepper, baked potatoe, steamed brocoli, and banana pudding/whip topping/nilla waffers. My husband especially loved it. Some times its the simple meat/potato/vegetable dinners my husband likes the best. I find that cooking that type is tricky because I can't prepare ahead and several things have to be warm and ready at the same time. Tonight I had left overs scheduled. There really isn't much for left overs so I might do breakfast burritos.

After dinner I went ahead and did the dishes while Wade read his lesson. I didn't feel up to policing the kids to help out this time. His lesson was on prayer. He asked if I could play the hymn Sweet Hour of Prayer. It just so happens to be the one hymn I memorized as a child because it has no sharps or flats. I don't have a large hymn book yet and so I pounded it out by memory. The strange thing was I could only play it if I went fast. If I slowed down I forgot what came next. I think its all muscle memory.

We had a lesson on prayer. It was really good. We also watched a movie clip that goes with the Family Home Evening manual. We had a good discussion. Prayer is an interesting thing to get asked about. Wade asked me how some of my prayers have been answered. When I get asked something like that on the spot my mind goes blank. uh uh uh......
But after I think about it for a minute all sorts of great memories and examples come about how prayer has blessed my life. Lately I've been thinking about writing down more of my personal revelation so that I don't forget it. I really enjoy discussing the basic principles of the gospel with my children. As an adult and having countless lessons and study on the basic stuff I can sometimes make the mistake of thinking I know what I need. When I can always learn more. Plus our minds easily forget things!

Wade and I have been reading for what seems to be the longest time in Alma. We are about to finish the book. Captain Moroni was so fearless and convicted to do what is right and speak what is right. We just read his letter to Pahoran the chief judge and how he told him that if he didn't bring reinforcements and food to his armies who were suffering and wounded from protecting them that he would come to Zarahemla and kill him. wow! Little does he know at that time that Pahoran has his own problems being forced out of the city by the king-men. Its a little sad to me that Captain Moroni lived his whole life fighting war after war with face to face combat.--and sometimes I think my trials are tough???   The Book of Mormon is one of the most exciting books I've ever read. It beats any vampire or futuristic society books by far! I'm surprised it hasn't made it on the New York Times Best Seller list!
We are definitely in a different kind of war. But it is still a raging war of right and wrong and immorality. Some people I know are really fighting for their lives.
Besides feeling sorrow for the ones I know who are really struggling I myself feel so much peace in my life. That place deep inside of me feels peace, comfort, and love from my Heavenly Father. Those feelings make every sacrifice I make well worth it. In fact, its worth every thing to me.
Love and Light~