Spill

The spills. The spills drive me crazy. Cup of Noodles spilled off the table and onto the floor. Why??? Because Lydia tickled Damon and off the soup went? I want to scream! I took a deep breath and cleaned it up. Please Don't Spill AGAIN!
My 11 month old has been learning to feed herself. There is nothing clean about that. Its never ending food messes around this little house.
They eat breakfast. An hour later they want a snack. An hour later they want lunch. I'm busy with business stuff and trying to get ready to camp. My hair is not done yet. My baby is sleeping and I know I have to move it before she wakes up and we go to the store.
But Damon is doing really well on the potty! Yay for that.
I ran last night. I read the scriptures this morning. And I'm still struggling with the little things...like spills. I'll never reach perfection!!! Oh well. So now I'm going to go pray and then do my hair and try to let all the little stresses melt away. What really matters???!!
Love and Light~

Training for the Potty

On my anniversary last week my hubby and I were eating a fun lunch together, just the two of us, and he said, "There is something I've been wanting to talk to you about." I got a little nervous because he doesn't say things like that to me. I swallowed and listened.
"I really really want you to potty train Damon."
I laughed. Well it is very important to him. Evidently! I didn't say anything for a moment.
"I will help you on the weekends." I raise my eye brows. Really!
"If your willing to help me then lets start tomorrow," I say. I think that maybe Damon is more ready then when I last tried this winter. We keep talking about it and he mentions how he knows its hard because it must be. I say you logically know it is hard for me to potty train but you don't really KNOW what its like.....especially now with three other kids needing my attention. He says that's true and that again he will help. So This weekend we were a team potty training.  He did help out a lot.  Potty training is a big pain! Especially when you have to watch the trainee very closely. The few times he or I didn't watch him close enough an accident happened.
But honestly my husband is right. Damon is ready. The big difference now from 6 months ago is: He is talking more!! He will actually say pee pee and poo when he thinks he needs to go. He is aware of those pee muscles!!---major part of potty training he didn't have down before! Infact that's why I quite the first time. He had know idea when he was peeing. 
The candy is a big motivation. We have to have some kind of reward. Yesterday he got really mad because I wouldn't give him candy when he only sat on the potty without going. He threw a big fit but I didn't give in. The next time he went in the potty it made it that much more rewarding since he had to wait to get the candy.  Right now I give one m&m for going pee. I'm still waiting for him to go poo on the potty and I've tried to explain that if he goes poo he will get 5 m&m's! We do have accidents here and there but he is making progress. Wade is very happy!

May 25
I thought that boys were supposed to be harder to train! This morning Damon ran into the living room where I was reading BOM stories to Andrea before school saying, "pee pee." Usually I drop everything and run with the trainee to the potty. This time I said, "okay hurry to the potty!" Off he went and managed it all by himself! I couldn't be happier!!!

May 27
My Damon is amazingly ready! I can't even believe it. I think with the girls I tried a little too early or boys are easier!  I'm amazed at how he is now just....got it. He gets it. He tells me when he needs to pee or poo and he is staying dry during his naps. He has the muscles down and he doesn't even need candy as an incentive. I don't understand it because candy was the only reason the girls would go pee but they were also 24-26 months. Damon is now 3 months from turning 3. Yesterday I don't think he peed all afternoon. Or he peed on his own without me knowing!

To read my potty training ideas and my first time trying to train Damon this winter read below.
December 14, 2010
The time has come. Wade keeps telling me to get going with Damon's potty training. Some of the signs that he is ready is that he poops in his diaper and then trys to get on the potty. He is able to undress most of himself and he "shows interest for the potty." He is past two years old. Although he still doesn't speak much he communicates well and understands us. He tells us when he needs his diaper changed.
Before you start. Go to the store. Buy a toilet seat. I don't like the little potties. They are messy and my kids didn't like them. The goal is to use the toilet anyways. Why have to transition from a little kid potty to the big toilet? Potty training is painful enough...for the moms that is!
Buy a kid step stool.
Buy cool underwear that the child would like to wear. Buy extra underwear!
Buy pull-ups (bye bye panties/underwear)
Buy candy. Candy must be small and something the child loves to eat. in ex. individual smarties, m&m's, jelly beans....
Why buy candy? Your child has no reason to go potty on the toilet. They simply do not care that much. There is no incentive to use the toilet except to have fun once inwhile and pretend to be big. What they do in their diaper is all they have ever done and it is comfortable. The candy is the only motivation to use the toilet. I tried using other prizes and stickers. Good luck folks using that. It didn't work for me. They have to want that prize...bad! Candy does the trick. You cannot give them any other sweets. During that first week of potty training you can't give them sweet juices and deserts. They have to want that candy!
Talk to your child about being a big boy/girl. If your child hasn't seen anyone going potty (which I can't imagin) then you must show them how to go. Your child has to see how it is done.
Tell your child that we are going to wear big boy underwear today and use the toilet.
This is important....talk to them about being dry. Its all about being dry. "We want to be dry today and you go pee pee and poo poo in the toilet." Show them the toilet and the seat and the step stool. You have to teach them to feel the front of their underwear to see if it is dry. Through out the day ask them, "are you dry?" Show them how to feel if they are dry. Being dry is the goal.
What I do is have them wear their new underwear with a shirt and thats it all day. I set the timer for 15 minutes all day. When the timer goes off I say. "Time to get on the potty." I do not ever ask in the beginning if they "want" or "need" to go potty.
If they don't want to go I remind them about the candy and show it to them.
"If you go pee or poo on the potty you can have a piece of candy." Sometimes they simply do Not want to get on that potty. If they are really resisting then reset the timer for 15 minutes and try again. Never force them on the potty. Persuade them the best you can and sometimes you can read a book to them while they sit on the toilet or play with a toy.
When they are sitting on the potty. Most likely not "going" we get off and set the timer again for 15 minutes. The child most likely wants a piece of candy for getting on the potty. You cannot whatsoever give them a piece of candy. This is very very hard to do. They will cry, scream and throw themselves on the ground. Do not give them a piece. Sometime during the day they will 'go' on the potty--it may not be until the end of the day!
Once they go that first time...its like the greatest event of the century. You must shout for joy, jump up and down, give them high fives, give them a hug, congratulate them for being such a big boy, call up daddy and share the good news....and of course happily announce that they can have a piece of candy because they went pee pee or poo poo on the potty.
Teach them to wash their hands after using the toilet.
The most frustrating part is that it is very exhausting putting them on the potty every 15 minutes and then they pee in their underwear in between those 15 minute incriments. You'll say to yourself, we were just on the potty and now you pee??
What is happening is this: they don't know about that muscle that hold the pee in and releases the pee out. They have never used it. They have no idea throughout the day in a diaper when they are peeing. It is just automatic for them.

second day:
Its pretty tricky potty training with two other children.
While I was helping Damon get on the potty while holding Bella when Lydia comes up and wants to hold Bella. I gladly hand Bella to her so I can better assist Damon. Lydia has been a really good helper lately with the baby. Soon after I hear a big thud and the baby screaming. Bella fell off the couch. It was very sad for poor Bella and mommy. My little Bella has been fussy and wanting me to hold her all day.

third day:
This is a disaster. We are having no success in the potty today. I'm hoping that he is figuring out those pee muscles. But he isn't. While Damon was on the counter watching me he started peeing. I said, "No, don't do that! Lets go to the potty. no no," He just stared at me like, what are you talking about? Plus you know he doesn't talk yet. I don't even think he was realizing anything was coming out of him.
So thats it. I'm done. He isn't ready and with three other kids I'm not pushing it when he isn't ready.
Wade wasn't happy but he isn't here during the day to see what its like.

I hope you enjoyed it!
Love and Light~

Last night I got out of the house and ran 12 miles at 8 min/miles. I haven't ran that far in 10 years! At about 11 miles I started feeling really excited that I ran that far even though my hamstrings were getting tight and burning. Yoohoo I did it!!  My friend and I talked and had fun the whole way. At one point I thought I was going to fall over from laughing so hard.  It was a little stormy and we got sprinkled on a little bit. I'm so happy to run with someone. I know if I tried by myself it would take me a long time to work up to 12 miles and it would be much more painful. It's easier to push my body when someone else is doing it. My legs started really cramping up when I got home. I could feel the lactic acid making my legs stiff and hurt. I went to bed and woke up at midnight realizing that I was having a hard time sleeping because my legs were hurting so bad. I got up and took 800 mil of ibuprofen. It helped a lot and woke up this morning without cramps. I'm just a little sore.

My mornings aren't as good when I don't get up early to run. I'm going to try to make myself get up before the kids the rest of the week.  Today I'm really happy and loving the rain. I made a sheet cake and am getting ready to have Navajo Tacos for dinner. We are feeding the missionaries for the first time tonight. After that Wade is going on splits with them for the rest of the night. I'm not excited about Wade being gone all day....and night but I'm sure it will be fun for him in the end.

Yesterday I made my best rolls (Lion House) and Pepper Jack Potato Soup. Talk about comfort food! It was so yummy. Its a recipe from the Food Nanny. Before I went on my run last night we had Family Home Evening. I am able to play the piano (at least the top hand!). Ya its pretty much awesome to have a piano!!  We had a lesson on the restoration of the gospel. It was fun explaining how the gospel that Jesus Christ taught while He was on the earth has been restored again. We had a great time and talked about the priesthood too. We all bore our testimonies. While I was reading and showing a picture of John the Baptist coming down from heaven to restore the Aaronic priesthood back to the earth to Joseph Smith and then later the Apostles Peter, James and John giving him the Melchizedek priesthood I felt the tingly feelings of the Spirit telling me that, that really did happen. I love it when I feel the Holy Ghost!
Love and Light~

Loving my Choice

"Marriage, Marriage is what brings us together...today." (Princess Bride)

I can't believe 9 years ago today we were sealed in the temple for all eternity. When we were dating in high school I hoped that I would one day marry him and spend the rest of our lives together. I am so happy to be living "our lives" together right now. I believe that love is a daily choice. It's not something I "fell" into without wanting too. I choose to love.

In the Mormon culture we don't live together or have sex before marriage. So it can make it interesting when you get married to find out many things about your partner that you never knew before. I love how being married breaks all the walls and barriers and the "naked" truth is revealed. For instance when I got the flu bug for the first time after being married, that showed me in a different light that he never saw before. What is neat about it is that you say you love each other but after you go through the difficulties and hardships of life(and joys!!)  together and still say I love you that's when your love grows and deepens. "He saw me like that and he loves me even more!?" Yay! 

The thing about marriage too is that the things that drew you to that person and that you liked about them may start to drive you crazy or annoy you later. I remember thinking. "Oh, ya but I really liked him because of this quality." I think it annoys me sometimes because its different then me and its a different way. Its funny because that's part of why I chose him. Who would want to be married to themselves? I've learned a lot about how its okay to do things in a different way then I would do it as long as it gets done. What is important is being the same in ideals, goals, and shares the same values/principles. So in those ways we are the same. I think that is vital!!

Mostly I'm trying to let things go and relax. Most of the time when I get upset at Wade I try to think about why I'm upset and realize its actually about me. I'm actually having a hard time about something and trying to blame him. When I let things go, its like claiming my power. Because I have control over my emotions, I don't get into that irrational crazy behavior I grew up seeing.  That's when you lose your power. The worst phrase is, "strike when the iron is hot." That is the worst thing you can do! It only causes damage that may never be repaired. You really can't take words back.

I love being married. I have learned so much about myself, life and family by being married and having children. My eyes are continually being opened as I grow. The greatest decision of my life was getting married to my good husband! He helps bring balance into my life and keeps me calm...........

Let the celebrations begin!!!

Love and Light~

ps Choose to love your choice!

Don't Slip

May 14
Everyone is sleeping or watching a movie on this Saturday afternoon. I am sneaking on the computer to write for a minute before I clean up the house. We had a fun morning with my first grader doing a track and field day at the high school. It turned out really strange weather. Sunny for a little while and then dark clouds and windy rainy weather blows in and the kids are freezing.  We survived and had fun watching Andrea race. She got 2nd in the 100M and 3rd in the 50M and she ran a 400 but started crying at the last straight away when she saw Daddy cheering her on. Poor thing said her legs hurt and she was tired. I think it was a long day by then! She wanted to quit near the finish but I wouldn't let her and had to drag her over the finish line. We decided to go to lunch to celebrate her hard work. We went to the park last night with snow cones and Wade kept talking about how wonderful our family is and what a great time we have together. It is so true. I love being with them, even though sometimes it feels like they fight all day! Tonight we are going on an overdue date. I'm really excited.

I went running this morning at 8 with my new Mother's Day present, an ishuffle. It was really fun to run to music.  I think I ran a little faster because half way through I wanted to stop. The music helped me keep my mind off the pain and I made it through the route.  I feel good about the kids seeing me run. Lydia and Andrea have both said that they want to go with me. I told Andrea how I got tired and wanted to stop but that I kept going anyways. I'm hopeing it will teach her something.

My wonderful new wave iron died. I'm pretty sad about it. Half way through my hair the other day it just stopped heating. I hope to get a new one before I cut all my hair off.

I was thinking today how happy I am with four children. I wonder if I could be a good mom to more then that. I don't know why those thoughts pop into my head. I'm feeling very content right now and I don't want that to change.

May 16
Today I am having an invoicing problem that is just about putting me over the edge. I manage a small business from home. But I have to roll with it and not get too caught up in the emotions. It is what it is and just do the best I can with the situation. After praying and taking a moment to breathe I realize that everything is just fine. I may not have dinner ready or the house clean today but I'm takeing care of the kids and some buisness--its okay!
I was ornery all afternoon yesterday. I got into a funk with myself. I don't like it and I realized that maybe it was because I was neglecting my personal prayers for a few days. We pray at meals, we pray as a family morning and night, I pray all day in my mind, but to stop and get on my knees and personally converse with Heavenly Father makes all the difference. My day is filled with more strength and patience and perspective. I'm constantly trying to work on being better. Its exhausting sometimes but the rewards feel tangible and obvious to me. The older I get the more I am learning and noticing the spirit in my life and the difference it makes.  Living the gospel is not easy but for me its the only way. I feel almost desperate to succeed in having a happy family and a happy life. I grew up in a lot of chaos and fear and I want to change that for my family. Its uncomfortable to change and it takes this awareness in every moment of my day to choose a better way. So if I don't pray on my knees often, I start to slip.
{Lydia just told me that Panda Bears eat soy sauce!}
Love and Light~

Present With Each-- 4+

My son Damon is in this Early Intervention program for speech delay. He goes every Tuesday and Thursday for an hour and a half to play and....work on speech? He loves it, whether it helps his speech or not. One of the problems is that 2 ladies have to make house calls once a month for an hour each. It is a big pain for me since I am busy with 3 other kids. One of the ladies I think is coming just to show me how to play with my child. It is weird, and I'm about to throw the whole thing out the window. Luckily it is only for a few more months and he will go to the school district preschool. This morning one of the ladies was supposed to come.
I was trying to get the house in decent order and the kids ready. All of a sudden my 5 year old Lydia yells with tears.
"You said you were going to be a better mom after going to that womens conference and your NOT! Your the same!!"
I stop in my tracks stunned. She is crying and looking me straight in the eyes. Did I just hear her correctly?
I'm not better? I'm the same? What?
I about fell over at the honesty and heart felt....insult.
"Okay, Lydia lets talk about his. Come with me on my bed and we will talk."
She is crying and I think she feels bad at what she said but I don't let her know my feelings are hurt. I want to really figure out what she is feeling and saying.
"What do you mean I'm not better? What do you think I should be like?"
She doesn't say anything.
"Am I being a bad mom?"
She doesn't say anything.
"Am I yelling at you? Am I being mean? Am I making you work all day or something?"
"No," she says.
"Are you maybe a little bored and you wish you could go to kindergarten right now?"
"Yes," she says.
"Lydia I want to do fun things with you and we do fun things together but we also have to clean up and I have to take care of other things as well, like this lady is coming soon and I had to get things ready.
I know your having a hard time wanting to go to school like Andrea but soon it will be summer and we are going to have lots of fun and then you will start kindergarten. But for now how about we write a list of the things you and I can do together."
She really perks up and gets excited. "OKAY!"
"I'm going to get a pen and paper write now."
I start telling her each word I write.
Lydia and Mommy's list of things to do together.
"Okay, now you tell me all the things you would like to do with me and I will make a list." She gets excited as she tells me very matter of fact:
1) Jump on the trampoline together if its sunny.
2) Play polly pockets together when Damon is asleep.
3) Draw pictures together.
4) Paint Nails
5) Work on Preschool stuff
6) Go to the park, if its sunny.
7) Make cookies
8) Sing Songs
9) Make fans
10) Read books
11) Make Necklaces

Then we picked two things that we did today. We made necklaces and worked on preschool games. My Lydia is very easy going usually but sometimes she sort of has a melt down. I have to really put in a lot of effort to reach out to her and make sure she is getting enough of my attention and affection. For a moment it made me sad what she initially said to me but then I realized that it was her frustration of being at home with me everyday while she watches Andrea go to school. Sometimes kids also have to learn that mom can't just entertain all day long. We ended up having a great day. My efforts of two different 20 minute activities throughout the day with her made all the difference and she was happy and playing the rest of the day. It is tricky to learn balance with each child. Each child has to be nurtured, listened to, praised and given physical affection.
Sometimes I pray and ask, "Please help me notice and pay attention to something I need to address with each child. Help me to pick up on any ques that my child needs something from me. Don't let me fail one of them. Help me to understand each child and their uniqueness so that I can parent them the way they need me to. Help me be a good mother and present with each of them..................."

I'm feeling so happy lately with my role of motherhood. I know I'm getting help from above. I'm entering a great phase where I have school age kids, toddlers and babies. It makes it more fun. I can listen to Andrea joke and talk about school and her friends and querky things she thinks about. I can sing songs and explain cool things to Lydia. I can make funny faces and noises with Damon and laugh together. I can cuddle, rock, and roll on the floor with Bella. My husband is kind.  Life really doesn't get any better. ---my house is small and most of the time messy but its filled with love and laughter.
Love and Light~

Mommy Day~

Mother's Day is tomorrow. I think I will wake up happy. Last year I was on bed rest. I couldn't go to church to hear my girls sing in sacrament with the primary, something I always looked forward to as my children are getting older. I was supposed to lay flat all day every day for weeks. It was hard. But I was blessed that day last year because I felt peace and contentment that I was bringing a healthy child into this world. I have a beautiful baby girl now. The struggles are so worth it!  The Lord really helped me get through it. My mother really saved the day! She came in and helped me when I couldn't take care of the house, my kids, the laundry.....and so many people came and brought me meals and helped out! I have gained so much more experience and compassion by going through that. That was a great learning experience for me. I am so blessed to be healthy today and to have a healthy husband and children. Its amazing how a health issue can turn your world upside down.

Be sure to read my Mother's Day Post from last year on bed rest if you missed it! 

I think that most of the time our minds is where the testing is when it comes to being a wife and mother. Its not easy but we can do it!

Today is Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day to all women whether you've borne children into the world or not! All women are mother's in one way or another.
The day started off good with sticky buns and my husband and children with cards. Wade got me my own ipod shuffle that I can listen to music while I run! I am way excited about it! Soon after Wade said he wasn't feeling good.  It got worse and worse and began throwing up. Its unusual for him to get the stomach flu. But here it is in all its glory! It has made the rounds at my house this week. I felt really bad for him because today was his only day off from working 11-12 hour days almost all week long. I feel like I haven't seen him much at all.  Today I was basically bymyself again with the kids since he was sick in bed and took the kids to church. I feel okay about it because I'm sure we will make up some family time soon.
This afternoon I played with the kids a little by jumping on the trampoline with them. It was fun because its a little stormy. I'm so happy to be a mommy!!!
Love and Light~

Women's Conference

 Cheryl, Me, Christine

We ran into our cousin Sarcie and Aunt Holly and was able to sit together at a class!

Okay so it has taken me awhile to write this post about women's conference. It has taken me awhile to find any time because I'm trying to catch up on everything. Plus I got sick with my annual flu bug. And then all the kids took their turn. It has been a busy week and I also felt a lot of opposition trying to get me down after my spiritual high. I really hope to be more consistent in my writing.

Saying goodbye to my kids was hard. Again I know how lame I may sound.  I never leave my kids and it was a big deal for me. I cried when I drove away like I knew I would. My husband was really great about it all.  My baby isn't taking the bottle but we worked it out so that she would still get formula in a cup and from her cereal.  My sister-in-law who is one of the greatest people I know picked me up and we had a fun ride up to SLC talking about what classes we want to go to.  Women's Conference is two days at BYU and they have a main morning session and a closing session each day.  The two morning sessions were my very favorite. Sister Pearce (Pres. Hinckley's daughter) spoke the first day and set the tone for the whole event.  I felt the spirit so strong on and off during her talk. The second morning was Sister Julie B. Beck general RS president.  For me feeling the spirit is sometimes a tingly feeling that goes up and down my spine. Sometimes its just an amazing good feeling inside that makes me want to shout for joy. Sometimes it makes me want to cry because I'm feeling so good.
As you drive into the campus area your already start to feel the buzzing energy while your in women's conference traffic. All these cars with women in them flocking for spiritual  uplifting. Their are crowds on the sidewalks as you make your way to the main arena. Its really fun and exciting. While I sat in the Marriott center with thousands of women in there and we are singing and praying and listening, I felt amazing.  First of all there is this feeling that we are all connected as women. We are not alone in our struggles and trials and joys. We have this common thread connecting us together, whether we are single, married, with children, without children, empty nesters......
There are a variety of classes to choose from. Some on technology, serving in the community, dealing with lose, being women of God, motherhood, infertility, strength in the scriptures, prayer, pornography, dating.....all kinds of topics.
Some things that I learned:
The world shows a false identity of women and mothers.
To find our identity and purpose takes a spiritual confirmation.
We have a unified purpose with Heavenly Father's sons.
We have a leadership of men's hearts.
We have an inseparable connection to the priesthood.
Home is where the priesthood works the best.
It is my responsibility to make sure that, "Mine is a home where every hour is blessed with the power of priesthood power." (primary song)
I am in the business of salvation.
I need to be a woman of strong faith.
Strong faith in Jesus Christ and in God's plan = Triumph
Difficulties are part of our growth. Then come the blessings.
I will always feel opposition.
Trials will perfect me.
I do hard things.
I will overcome through Strong faith.
God's power should be with me every moment.
Am I aligned with God's vision of me and what He needs me to be?
I should do anything to get on my knees to know what the Lord would have me do.
I am the Guardian of my home.
The mother lion: she is there, she is present, she protects and is in charge of the atmosphere in the home.
Prayers assist our children.
Lionesses are Not afraid. Guard, Protect, Teach, Love, Growl or Prance...if there is a need for it!
Live to lift and build.
Keep a watchful eye.Wake up mothers!
Don't pamper children, teach them to work.
Take Courage - It is Worth IT!
Keep it Small
Keep it Simple
Give it Time

There were so many great things that helped me with my perspective as a wife and mother. One thing that Sister Beck said that turned a light on for me was when she interpreted the scriptures into our day from 2 Nephi 28: 20-22. She said that in verse 22 that flattery and entitlement is something that we struggle with today. She said we aren't owed anything. We aren't entitled to help from our husbands. We aren't entitled to time or blessings. God doesn't owe me anything. We don't need to be flattered to know our purpose and worth. We owe everything to the Lord. Who owes who with the Savior?
A "Mother Heart"
Mothers Who Know
These two talks are some of my favorites, they aren't from women's conference but they were talked about. I can't get the transcripts from the conference yet.

I had a great time. After the first day I felt so filled that the second day I felt a pull to get back to my children and I thought that whatever I gained the second day was a bonus.
It wasn't really a time to socialize. It was very busy. There was a 30 minute break between classes and we ended up skipping lunch both days and tried to snack. I did get a little frazzled when I was trying to find a private place to pump. Christine helped me find an empty classroom and guarded the doors so I could quickly pump. It worked out just fine. We had to rush to the classes we wanted and stand in line. I did run into one of my friends but we only had time to hug and say hi. They also had these service workshops in the evening and a concert, I was so wasted, tired, and hungry I could hardly function we ended up missing that part. I think that it would be fun to stay in the dorms so that you could go rest for an hour if you wanted and then go out again. But of course staying with family is ideal when it doesn't cost anything! It was so beneficial and good for me that I hope to go every year.
I was so excited to see my kids and husband again. They were all happy to see me and I had little gifts for everyone. My husband did such a great job taking care of things while I was gone. Yay!
This post doesn't do any justice to the experience that I had. But it is what it is. Choose God, Feel Joy!
Love and Light~

poop

Bella was up in the night with a fever. Today she is sleepy and hot. I slept through the alarm. I think the volume was messed with. It was a bummer. One of my children pooped in the tub. This child who will not be named kept denying it. After the tub drained.....
Mommy I think there is poop in the tub.
What do you mean?
I think I saw poop in the tub.
(She is in the tub and has been by herself from the beginning in the tub. And there in the tub is the poop.)
Did you poop in the tub?
No
Well who did?
I don't know.
You had to poop in the tub because you were the only one in there and there wasn't any poop in it when you got in.
No I DIDN'T!!
You won't get into trouble. But you need to tell me the truth. Its okay if you pooped in the tub by accident. Sometimes that happens.
I didn't poop in the tub.
You are lieing to me because it had to be you. Please tell me the truth. You won't get into trouble.
Did you poop in the tub?
No.
Okay then you are lieing and you need to first clean it up and then stand in the corner.
She cries and cries and says how disgusting it is.  I'm surprised that she has lied about it when it was so obviously her. Maybe she is embarrassed. Later the next day she says.
Oh I can't get that word out of my head from my teacher in primary.
What word is that?
Commandments. You got to follow the commandments. She says it every time!
Well that is very good but what does commandments mean?
Be good and be nice to your brothers and sisters and tell the truth.......
Oh like don't lie?
She sighs, "yes, I keep having trouble with that one. I don't know why mom!"
"It's okay your learning. Sometimes its scary to tell the truth because we can be afraid that we might get into trouble. We have to always tell the truth and be honest because its the right thing to do and if you lie you get into more trouble." It was actually kind of funny. Wade was home and heard the whole thing. We still don't know why she lied about it.
You get into the poop free tub. The water fills up the tub. No one else gets into the tub. You see poop in the tub. You think, where in the world did that come from? WHO pooped in my tub? Mommy there is poop in the tub!! I don't know where the poop came from but I alone have been in the tub. 


May 3
After being a little down this morning from getting told again how bad I am.....I had a good day. I prayed hard to get over my blues and as my day went along I felt my spirits lighten. My good friend came over so I could watch her kids for a little while and she brought pizza and hung out all afternoon.  We had a great time talking about Women's Conference and stuff.  I like her so much and feel safe around her. She washed my dishes as I made rolls and broccoli soup that I shared with her to take home. The kids were all very good today. Bella is much better and Damon was a delight to be around. He is talking more and a funny boy. Lydia was happily playing a lot outside with my friends son. I felt good being home cooking and talking with a friend. Too bad I got told again how prideful and stubborn I am later. This person is thinking that I'm actually benefiting from being put down and guilted. I pulled out my notes this morning of Women's Conference and tried to keep the same spirit I felt there.  Its amazing being back in the trenches and the opposition that comes. Its not easy. And the sad part is that opposition can come through close family members. But it teaches me a lot. I am happy for my trials and glad for my many blessings. I've been thinking a lot about last year at this time. I was on full bed rest.
Love and Light~
Women's Conference post coming soon.......