A few beautiful, magnificent mothers I knowCan we have a word about Mother's Day?
I often think back to one of the times I have spoken on Mother's Day in sacrament meeting. The one in particular I want to talk about was when I was in high school. I look back on it now that I am a mother. I think it was one of the best talks I have ever given. But what makes me remember that day the most was the talks following mine. Two mothers spoke after me. And as they each stood at the pulpit they sort of hung their heads....in shame. The feelings of inadequacy, imperfections, failures, and weaknesses they felt as a mother seeped out of their talks. I sat there stunned. "What are these women thinking?"--I thought. "What are they doing? Don't they know that they are wonderful mothers? Don't they know their value and importance? Being a mother is the most important job in this world--don't they know that?" At the time I was puzzled. And I don't know if it was so much as what they said but the energy and feeling that came out of what they said. One of the women was a YW leader that I loved and looked up to.
The day I woke up on Mothers Day and cried, I understood why those mothers gave their Mother's Day talks while hanging their heads. I understood exactly.
There is something about being a mother with young children that is so challenging (however, I haven't raised any teenagers yet!). The drudgery of the day after day cleaning up of the little messes was exhausting and tedious. Being a mother of young children is a lot of physical work. I've noticed after having 3 going on 4 children that the emotional needs of each individual takes a lot of energy. Each child must be given affection, one on one attention, read to, talked to, sung to......and some days go smoother then others! Some days I have felt like such a failure.
One day I was in the temple, after having a very hard week, and I was praying and wondering why I didn't have more patience. And then it hit me that I am being given the opportunity and experiences to learn and exercise patience. Hope was not lost! That patience is something I can learn line upon line---with a lot of effort and prayer. A prayer like this, "HELP ME, HELP ME PLEASE!"
I wish I could say that I have gained patience. But I can't. It is a daily struggle. It seems like I go one step up and two steps back. Even on bed rest I found myself a couple of times letting the frustrations of my situation come out on the kids.---then the guilt comes in and I have to start over.
One time I had this thought a couple of years ago. "This is my dream life? This is what I always wanted, to be a mother and wife and that's it? What was I thinking?" But almost as soon as that thought came, another thought replaced it. It went something like this; Okay so this is harder then I expected. But I KNOW it is the most important job in the world. Raising children is the GREATEST calling I could ever have. And it brings me tremendous joyous moments throughout my day--because of my children. And I gather up my strength and say, I have got to get over this hate for dishes and accept it, and be happy for my life. Because it is a great life.
I have a testimony of the importance of women and mothers. That we are vitally important in Gods plan. That without the strength of women-families would fail. That Heavenly Father watches us, strengthens us, is aware of us, blesses us, and loves us each individually. Satan wants us to feel like failures. And when those bad thoughts come we must get rid of them and strengthen ourselves with the tools we have been given. Prayer and scripture study fortify us and protect us. So I want to say to all women--be strong! Keep doing the great work you are doing. Know that your work is important although never fully appreciated. God knows us, realizes our inner struggles and HE appreciates us. Is that enough?
Elder Jeffery R. Holland
"In speaking of mothers generally, I especially wish to praise and encourage young mothers. The work of a mother is hard, too often unheralded work. But with night feedings and night teethings, often the greatest challenge of all for a young mother is simply fatigue. Through these years, mothers go longer on less sleep and give more to others with less personal renewal for themselves than any other group I know at any other time in life. It is not surprising when the shadows under their eyes sometimes vaguely resemble the state of Rhode Island."
"Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Husbands--especially husbands--as well as Church leaders and friends in every direction, be helpful and sensitive and wise. Remember, 'To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.'"
"In light of that kind of expression, it is clear that some of those Rhode Island--sized shadows come not just from diapers and carpooling but from at least a few sleepless nights spent searching the soul, seeking earnestly for the capacity to raise these children to be what God wants them to be. Moved by that kind of devotion and determination, may I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. HE knows that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves; if you will plead for that guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful; if you will go to the temple to both make and claim the promises of the most sacred covenants a woman or man can make in this world; if you will show others, including your children, the same caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show you; if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do."
Reading that gave me a lot of strength. May you not cry on Mother's Day. May you not hang your head in shame--none of us are perfect. And may you feel the peace and love of God that you are magnificent, even with weaknesses!
Love to you from me from the couch on Mother's Day!
