Everyone is sleeping or watching a movie on this Saturday afternoon. I am sneaking on the computer to write for a minute before I clean up the house. We had a fun morning with my first grader doing a track and field day at the high school. It turned out really strange weather. Sunny for a little while and then dark clouds and windy rainy weather blows in and the kids are freezing. We survived and had fun watching Andrea race. She got 2nd in the 100M and 3rd in the 50M and she ran a 400 but started crying at the last straight away when she saw Daddy cheering her on. Poor thing said her legs hurt and she was tired. I think it was a long day by then! She wanted to quit near the finish but I wouldn't let her and had to drag her over the finish line. We decided to go to lunch to celebrate her hard work. We went to the park last night with snow cones and Wade kept talking about how wonderful our family is and what a great time we have together. It is so true. I love being with them, even though sometimes it feels like they fight all day! Tonight we are going on an overdue date. I'm really excited.
I went running this morning at 8 with my new Mother's Day present, an ishuffle. It was really fun to run to music. I think I ran a little faster because half way through I wanted to stop. The music helped me keep my mind off the pain and I made it through the route. I feel good about the kids seeing me run. Lydia and Andrea have both said that they want to go with me. I told Andrea how I got tired and wanted to stop but that I kept going anyways. I'm hopeing it will teach her something.
My wonderful new wave iron died. I'm pretty sad about it. Half way through my hair the other day it just stopped heating. I hope to get a new one before I cut all my hair off.
I was thinking today how happy I am with four children. I wonder if I could be a good mom to more then that. I don't know why those thoughts pop into my head. I'm feeling very content right now and I don't want that to change.
May 16
Today I am having an invoicing problem that is just about putting me over the edge. I manage a small business from home. But I have to roll with it and not get too caught up in the emotions. It is what it is and just do the best I can with the situation. After praying and taking a moment to breathe I realize that everything is just fine. I may not have dinner ready or the house clean today but I'm takeing care of the kids and some buisness--its okay!
I was ornery all afternoon yesterday. I got into a funk with myself. I don't like it and I realized that maybe it was because I was neglecting my personal prayers for a few days. We pray at meals, we pray as a family morning and night, I pray all day in my mind, but to stop and get on my knees and personally converse with Heavenly Father makes all the difference. My day is filled with more strength and patience and perspective. I'm constantly trying to work on being better. Its exhausting sometimes but the rewards feel tangible and obvious to me. The older I get the more I am learning and noticing the spirit in my life and the difference it makes. Living the gospel is not easy but for me its the only way. I feel almost desperate to succeed in having a happy family and a happy life. I grew up in a lot of chaos and fear and I want to change that for my family. Its uncomfortable to change and it takes this awareness in every moment of my day to choose a better way. So if I don't pray on my knees often, I start to slip.
{Lydia just told me that Panda Bears eat soy sauce!}
Love and Light~
