March 21
Well, my feet hurt. My toes are aching me right now. My feet feel like hell to be honest. I made a mistake somehow. I don't even know what is going on. All I know is my feet hurt a mile into my run and ache the rest of the day. After a couple months of this I finally had to tell Wade. He is not happy as I expected. He has a thing about shoes. He doesn't like us to spend more money then is economical on the feet. I hadn't boughten running shoes since three of my babies were born. --Have my feet grown slightly? So slightly that I didn't notice my shoes may be snug after years of buying the same size of running shoes with no problems? My feet growing seems inconceivable. But I am wondering now if they have. My toes are numb after the first mile. I'm thinking that my shoes are too supportive. Like my whole foot is being to tight, but I feel like my toes have enough room. Its weird.
"Its not your shoes."
"Yes it is."
"No its not. How do you know?"
"uhm, because maybe I'm an experienced runner and have trained for a full marathon. I know what my feet should feel like."----10 years ago!!! I guess its been awhile?
He's just frustrated that I may need to buy new shoes after only two months with these shoes. I don't blame him, "I'm not happy either. Do you think I'm happy? That its fun to rebuy shoes??" --for me its not fun to rebuy shoes when the funds are so low. Theres no point at getting mad at me about it because I am already mad at myself. It is what it is~whatever that is, I'm not sure. All I know is my feet hurt.
I got my first batch of cloth diapers yesterday. Its a little daunting. Wade hooked up the water sprayer to the toilet but is not exactly happy about this whole cloth thing. He is unsure that it will really save us money since the diapers are expensive and we have to buy special detergents and stuff. Its a lot of accessories and equipment and extra washing and work. I don't know what to do...
Friday, April 1st
I took my shoes back after two months of running in them. They gave me most of my money back for in-store credit. I felt relieved. But now I am running in my old shoes and I'm getting blisters after every run. I'm tired of my feet hurting......
Sitting down to figure out the two week meal plan is NOT fun. That is what I need to do right now. What have we not eaten in awhile? What would be fun and easy to make? What will the kids like? And then I have to make my grocery list with it. Once I get started it starts to flow and by the time I get home with all my groceries....I feel great accomplishment!
Sunday April 10th
My old shoes are so horrible that between the snowey, windy weather on Friday and my blisters I said no to running. My second toenail is black. My toe nail will be falling off. I'm still stunned with my foot problems. I'm more stunned that I pushed through the pain and kept running with shoes that were too small. I'm silly or I like to suffer. I think I'm both silly and enjoy suffering. Wade was being nice about it all since the evidence was very clear about my problems of the foot. Some experienced runner I am! We went to the Running Store. Those people are experts on the running shoe. She told me yes, my feet probably grew and usually you must buy bigger shoes anyways to run in. My pro runner cousin verified that to me when I met up with her at a wedding this weekend. "Yea, man I always run in a shoe size bigger then I am, " she said. I got much better shoes, I hope. I try them out tomorrow. Too bad that the price was outragouse. Now I'm broke but thats nothing new. I now appreciate the importance of having the right equipment and your feet are number one! I feel bad that I have new running shoes when Wade needs new work boots so bad. He has sewed up the sides once and they are coming undone again. But running is part of my daily survival. He is surviving okay for now in his old boots, so he says.
Love and Light
