If anyone you know becomes on bed rest do not say this:
"Wow to lay down, wouldn't that be nice."
"You should be happy to get all this rest now."
To you who say this I ask you to lay down for two full days and do not get up except to go to the bathroom and see how that feels.
I am gaining so much compassion and understanding for the woman on bed rest. A pregnant woman on bed rest is a miserable creature.
I am getting so close to the end. I am two days from the 36 week mark! I am very happy to have made it two weeks past my last delivery. I feel like this baby is half way hanging out already! I totally get the term "heavy with child."
Once in a while I get a phone call from a family member or friend who gives me lots of encouragement and say what a great job I have done so far. That feels nice.
They say, "Your doing such a great job."
I say, "I am?"
They say, "Yes! you have come so far and you are doing such a great job keeping that baby in."
I say,"oh, I guess I am doing something."
Sometimes I forget. I often just feel empty and useless....laying down ALL the time, week after week.
I did sneak out of the house this afternoon. Wade and the kids and I drove out to the ranch as he fed the horses. I reclined the seat as far as I could. It is a cool cloudy day. The crisp air feels so good and fresh. It really lifted my spirits to be at the ranch and look out across the hay field. I took a lot of deep breaths and enjoyed the beauty. I told Andrea how I used to work out here at the ranch with my dad. She said, "You Did??" I guess I never told her that before. So I told her some of the things my dad and I used to do.
I had a much better day today especially after my crummy evening. Saturdays are not fun. Saturdays only remind me of everything I can't do. I realized that I needed rejuvenated this morning. I hadn't said a heartfelt personal prayer lately and I think it is because I am so out of my routine and there is always someone here. We say family prayers in the morning, at meals, at night and sometimes its hard to fit in personal prayer. I took some time while the family was at church to do just that and it helped my whole day.
I thought to myself, "Is the sacrament important to me or not?" It has been a month since I have had it. When the family came home from church Wade administered the sacrament to me. I definitely needed a renewal. I also wanted to set an example to my girls the importance of the sacrament to me. I again remembered also how grateful I am to my good worthy husband.
I tried getting mad at him last night. But it didn't work very well. When I expressed my feelings he said he felt the same way. We are both having a hard time. He is trying to do 100 things at once, be the mom and the dad, and I am stuck on the couch unable to go/do anything. It isn't easy for either of us. But today I feel better. I think we both do.
Wish me luck for tomorrow. Mondays are always harder-it feels like starting over.
