Christmas break was not an easy one. Towards the end Andrea was having quiet the relapse with worrying. She started crying and worrying on and off about mommy and daddy dyeing. She is always keeping a close eye on us. The days weren't fun enough and organized enough for her. It felt like she made some disgruntled noise after every thing I said. Even with school starting again it has been slow to get back to normal. She is very clingy to me, always wanting to hold my hand and sit close, yet often seems unhappy with me.Andrea came home off the bus and walked into the house crying.
"Whats the matter?" I said as I bent down to give her a big hug.
"I thought that you weren't going to be home because the garage door was down." she said through her tears.
"Oh honey, I told you, that won't happen again."
"I know but I get so worried."
(I unfortunately forgot about early out day once on Wednesday and was not home when she came off the bus. Luckily our good neighbor was home and called me.)
"So tell me about your day."
Andrea starts yelling, "I'm sick of talking and reading."
"Andrea I just want to know how your day was, what did you do at school?"
She yells, "I'm sick of talking."
"Why are you acting like this?"
"I'm going to my room."
She goes to her room and I hear her fretting about being hot in her clothes.
I let her have a little time to herself in her room and hopefully cheer up.
The next thing I know she is crying.
I go in her room and I find her with her shirt off under her covers.
"Andrea, Mommy doesn't like to see you sad. Mommy wants you to be happy. Please tell me what is wrong."
"I want my blanket," she says through her tears.
I go find her blanket and rub her back until she calms down.
Today she came into the house after getting off the bus with a big frown.
I give her a big hug.
"How was your day?" I ask
"Nothing was very fun." she says
"We didn't do centers or power hour and PE was just the same thing we always do."
Then she goes to her room and frets around.
"Andrea come and eat your lunch I made for you. It's on the table."
"No, I'm not ready yet."
"Come in here right now!"
She came stomping in and sat down to eat.
I continue preparing food for lunch.
Lydia starts talking.
Andrea cuts her off and says, "stop!
Lydia tries talking to me again.
Andrea makes a loud grunting noise and scowls at Lydia.
I said, "You let her talk."
Lydia begins again to say something and Andrea covers her ears.
I hear Lydia crying. "Andrea ripped my thing that she made for me."
"Why did you do that?"
"Because I made it and she is not being nice, she wont let me play with her toy."
I talk to both of them about getting along and right away make them clean up the living room.
Girls take a lot of emotional energy. Girls need lots of conversation, lots. The other night we had a loong conversation while she was in bed. Her asking me any question her little heart could think up and me trying to comfort and ease her little mind. I think it helped. I'm sure we'll have to revisit the conversation over and over.
Today I was trying to take a nap after church and laid on Lydia's bed to do so. I finally got frustrated with Andrea after several times she called out my name to ask me trivial things. Later that evening she told me what she was up to. She said that she wanted to wake me up to make sure that I was alive. That one really surprised me! I said it is impossible for me to die in my sleep. Interestingly I used to do that to my own mother. Except I wouldn't wake her up. I would get really close to see if she was breathing! But I won't be telling her that!
It is confusing to me though. Because my mom was sick a lot and I am very healthy-yet she worries.
