I'm having a wonderful time with my family this summer. I'm starting to feel sad that school is starting in a few weeks. I don't want Andrea to be gone every day until 4pm. When your the mom of 'little' children it seems so tedious doing every thing for them. Sometimes I think, can anyone do anything for themselves around this house? But as I'm watching them grow--I'm starting to feel a little scared. I don't want them to grow up and do everything on their own. I want them little and protected by me the Mama bear, lioness.
Andrea is so funny lately. She still has a big gap as her front teeth are missing. All day she has food on the sides of her cheeks because she has to take bites on the sides of her mouth. She gets tired of wipeing her mouth, I guess. She has been wanting to play with friends more her age and likes more alone time or following me around.
Lydia is my major drama queen. She has several outburst of crying and howling a day. Because she is unhappy with some injustice with her siblings or she doesn't like a decision I've made or because she needs help with something. She is also very sensitive. She needs more discipline lately but has to be dealt with gently. Andrea was invited to a birthday swim party and Lydia howled about it for two days. I just about went nuts. But she is also very sweet and loving when she isn't upset about something! She and Andrea have been playing so great together this summer. But like siblings, they either wake up playing or wake up fighting.....
Damon is very fun. He loves his naps and so do I. He is a cuddly boy but also rough and full of energy. He often makes me melt. I love how little and innocent he is--as are all my children. But since Damon is my only son I notice that I feel a little worried for him to grow into a man and face this cruel world. I want to protect him and keep him feeling safe, loved and happy.
I'm trying to teach all my children to be strong. I'm also trying to shelter, nurture and protect them. Its really terrifying. My favorite days are not the ones where we go to a theme park, or spend the day swimming, or doing something fun away from the house. My favorite days are the quieter ones at home doing the little things. I like the days when we don't have any place we have to be and we play the piano, read together, eat together, watch little house on the prairie, talk, cook, fold clothes, paint nails, clean up toys, pray, and dance as a family.
I look at my baby Bella and think, am I watching you grow enough? Am I looking at your face and seeing you change before my eyes? Am I too busy? Do I spend enough one on one time with you? Do I lay on the floor and watch you try to walk and figure out new things? Am I missing anything? And then I am glad for school to start in a few weeks. I'm excited to spend needed time with her. I don't want this day to end; this day of being with my children while they are so young and tender. In the scriptures it says that this life is a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God. Time goes by very quickly and this life is only a moment in our existence. My job is to love and teach my children.
That is what I will be doing today.
Love and Light~
