Oh when oh when will this baby come out? Oh when oh when will she come?
Yesterday was my 38 week mark!! I am so happy to make it this far. I felt like I could make it full term since I have twice before. Some people are wondering why I was on bed rest since I haven't had the baby immediately after being up. I feel that the bed rest is what has helped me get this far. Maybe I didn't need to be flat on my back all the time but there is no way of really knowing which factors have made the most impact. I know that if a doctor hadn't said to me, you have to be down, that I would have totally over done it.
I have really thought about the delicateness of pregnancy--being on bed rest. So often we as women want to be supermoms, superwoman. Some women like to brag about what they can do while they are pregnant: "I was running up to 30 weeks." "I was hiking and bike riding all through my pregnancy." "I worked up to the day I had my baby."
What is the payoff? It could mean a preterm baby. Is that worth it? It gives you a false sense of indestructibility--being super. In the past I have felt proud to be hiking and not letting pregnancy slow me down. I thought that my body was perfect for having children because I had two normal, full term pregnancies while living an active lifestyle. But that all came crashing down when I had my third child at 34 weeks. All the sudden being superwoman didn't feel so good anymore. My child was not completely ready to be born. His lungs were not fully ready to breath air. I would shudder when the nurses in the hospital would refer to my baby as "sick" instead of pre-term. I felt in denial about his condition. In my mind he was completely healthy and normal...except that he needed a little help breathing. When I went in to the hospital I was telling the nurse about how I as feeling contractions all night and now and then that morning. She asked me questions and then she said, "Did you ever think about laying down?" And the ridiculous thing was---I hadn't!
I found out the hard way that not every birth may be the same.
I will never feel guilty again for taking a nap if I am tired.
I will never feel guilty again if my house is not clean and the laundry is in heaps.
I will never feel guilty again to walk slower, take a bath in the middle of the day, and sit down all afternoon.
I will never feel guilty again to say, "no I can't do that," or "that would be to much for me right now."
My goal is healthy full term babies. I feel so ready to meet her and bring her home.
I am now dilated to a 6+. Amazing isn't it. My dad said he has never heard of someone just walking around for days at a 6. I'm worrying all the time about Wade missing the delivery. I was thinking about just deciding to go into the hospital and being at a 6 they would definitely keep me. I may do just that. I would be safe in the hospital and Wade would be there.
