Tonight I thought to myself. I feel like screaming. Than I realized, I had been screaming. My tears well up and I feel terrable. I can't seem to be the perfect mom I wanted to be. My house is too damn small, too much mess..we do have to live around here. I can't keep everything contained. I yelled at my girl for dumping her toys all over her little room. They can't even play around here. I can't buy them the things I wan't. My chest is flatter than ever. I hate them!- or whats left of them. I hate my clothes. I'm scared and afraid. I wan't more kids but some moments I think-how? I'm crazy!
Mommy can you get me some tape? Mommy can you help me find my bear? My tummy hurts. Baby is crawling around wanting my attention. My tummy hurts. Mommy I really need help finding my bear. Meanwhile the financial stress if suffocating me. I'm tired.
How can I fill all their needs and give them each their individual attention?---especially if I keep having more.
I feel like talking to someone, who?
Maybe someone will call me. Nope. We disconnected the phone and haven't told anyone yet.
I don't have a moment to talk anyways!
God, help me. help me. help me. PLEASE! I feel so insignificant.
