Tuesday Journal Thoughts

We moved out family night to Tuesdays. Last night we had dinner of Chicken just cooked on with light olive oil/seasoning salt and lemon pepper, baked potatoe, steamed brocoli, and banana pudding/whip topping/nilla waffers. My husband especially loved it. Some times its the simple meat/potato/vegetable dinners my husband likes the best. I find that cooking that type is tricky because I can't prepare ahead and several things have to be warm and ready at the same time. Tonight I had left overs scheduled. There really isn't much for left overs so I might do breakfast burritos.

After dinner I went ahead and did the dishes while Wade read his lesson. I didn't feel up to policing the kids to help out this time. His lesson was on prayer. He asked if I could play the hymn Sweet Hour of Prayer. It just so happens to be the one hymn I memorized as a child because it has no sharps or flats. I don't have a large hymn book yet and so I pounded it out by memory. The strange thing was I could only play it if I went fast. If I slowed down I forgot what came next. I think its all muscle memory.

We had a lesson on prayer. It was really good. We also watched a movie clip that goes with the Family Home Evening manual. We had a good discussion. Prayer is an interesting thing to get asked about. Wade asked me how some of my prayers have been answered. When I get asked something like that on the spot my mind goes blank. uh uh uh......
But after I think about it for a minute all sorts of great memories and examples come about how prayer has blessed my life. Lately I've been thinking about writing down more of my personal revelation so that I don't forget it. I really enjoy discussing the basic principles of the gospel with my children. As an adult and having countless lessons and study on the basic stuff I can sometimes make the mistake of thinking I know what I need. When I can always learn more. Plus our minds easily forget things!

Wade and I have been reading for what seems to be the longest time in Alma. We are about to finish the book. Captain Moroni was so fearless and convicted to do what is right and speak what is right. We just read his letter to Pahoran the chief judge and how he told him that if he didn't bring reinforcements and food to his armies who were suffering and wounded from protecting them that he would come to Zarahemla and kill him. wow! Little does he know at that time that Pahoran has his own problems being forced out of the city by the king-men. Its a little sad to me that Captain Moroni lived his whole life fighting war after war with face to face combat.--and sometimes I think my trials are tough???   The Book of Mormon is one of the most exciting books I've ever read. It beats any vampire or futuristic society books by far! I'm surprised it hasn't made it on the New York Times Best Seller list!
We are definitely in a different kind of war. But it is still a raging war of right and wrong and immorality. Some people I know are really fighting for their lives.
Besides feeling sorrow for the ones I know who are really struggling I myself feel so much peace in my life. That place deep inside of me feels peace, comfort, and love from my Heavenly Father. Those feelings make every sacrifice I make well worth it. In fact, its worth every thing to me.
Love and Light~

Too quiet

I thought it was strange that it all the sudden was very quiet. I soon found my Bella putting Lydia's lipstick on!

I'm realizing that my baby is not so much a baby anymore! I can't believe how well this princess dress fits her today!!
These are wonderful days!!

Happy Times....

I've had a great Sunday. We had ward conference--which was great! I felt the spirit and felt happy to be there. I love our leaders.
The afternoon went well. I got a little nap, wrote in some journals and spent time with Andrea on her Faith in God booklet.
Lydia had a hard time today. She tried to get Damon and Bella to ride on her back or play and both of them only wanted to play with Andrea. That was not normal and very upsetting to Lydia.
After feeding horses we stopped by Wade's parents house to get all the slides and the projector. His parents came to our house and Wade set it all up to look at slides. It's always fun to see pictures of him as a baby. My favorite word for Wade lately is nostalgic. Wade is staying up late tonight fixing the projector....
Lydia fell asleep on Grandpa's lap. She was done for the day!

Yesterday was fun to get out of the house. I ran a half marathon with my friend April. We split up after the 3rd mile. I wasn't able to keep up the pace. It was a beautiful run. I had fun talking to the other runners and feeling good about life and all the great blessings of living in this great country!
It was a good run with a lot of ups and downs. My legs were pretty tired and cramping up the last few miles.
My family was at the home stretch. The kids ran up to me and I was so happy to see them. But I was still running so the girls each held one of my hands and ran with me through the finish line! It was great and I wish I had a picture of it.
I'm hoping that we run a 5k this summer as a family.
I'm feeling good and I think that this will be a good week. Doing that race helped rejuvenate me....
Tomorrow I'm going to organize some goals and schedule my week with them in it so I can achieve them. Wade emphasized to me again today that he thinks the most important thing for me to spend my time on is keeping the pictures, baby books and videos organized for our family. Nostalgia runs through his veins!

Valentines Day 2012

I had a great time making these Valentines for my loves!
I cooked all day and made a turkey dinner. We got the china out and had lighted candles. We had a nice time together with the kids.
Love & Light~

Life Thoughts~

As I write I can smell Pine Sol. As I mopped I thought of the black Pine Sol commercial lady. She talked with a lisp. I miss seeing her commercials. "Whats in your bathroom and kitchen? A bunch of  dirt, germs and nasty smells."
I am grateful today for the couple of quiet hours I have had this afternoon as my babies are napping. I cleaned my floor and tightened up the kitchen. I cleaned the top of my stove. Every time I clean my stove top I think of my sister Lori when she came for Christmas one year. She cleaned my stove top and asked why it had gotten so dirty. Since then I've tried to clean it more regularly. Sometimes you just don't notice things like that especially when you are using it all the time. "Oh my stove top is filthy. I should clean it." hhmmm...
As I mopped I thought a lot about this life. I finished mopping and decided to kneel by my bed and pray. What a great opportunity to pray since my babies haven't woken yet. I was very excited to use this quiet time. I talked to Him like I would a dear friend about my thoughts.....
I thought a lot about people I know and their struggles. Here we are struggling for our salvation...alone. But we shouldn't be doing it alone. No one is ever alone anyways. But we also have people all around us and yet we are struggling alone. That is very silly. We must share and reach out to each other. Help one another. Lets not be scared. We don't want to be judged and we don't share. Yuck yuck yuck.
When we share it gives other people the permission to share. The thing is we are all the same down deep. I love that I know this.

This life is only a moment in our existence. The real living is in the next life. The scary thing is that what we do in this small amount of time on the earth determines our circumstances in the life to come. But if we put it into perspective its comforting to know that our trials are temporary and for our good so we can grow. Our mistakes are important for our growth. We came here to make mistakes. It was the only way for us to learn. We are hear to learn how to choose good over evil. That's what it means to 'work out our own salvation.' The important thing is to learn from our mistakes, repent from our sins and continue on doing our best in keeping the commandments. Well I've been thinking about how important knowing how short this life is. Sometimes I think of the sacrifices I make being a member of this church and choosing the calling of wife and mother. There really is no sacrifice too great. I am blessed so much for it. I have so much peace and joy with my family. I feel the spirit. To me there isn't much better than that. Jesus Christ gave the greatest sacrifice of all for me. When I think about that, I know I can accomplish what I am asked to do. So once in a while I get tempted and feel sad for a moment that I'm not out traveling the world or something. But then immediately I think another thought that I will be able to do that and so much more. Some of it hopefully in this life but if not, in the life to come. Its awesome knowing that! When we do what is right we are building great eternal rewards!! Yay!!

Tomorrow is love day. I hope to have a smile all day and share unconditional love to all I can.
Love & Light~

My Lydia Doll

As I laid in bed last night the tears rolled down. I was thinking about the afternoon with Lydia cuddling while reading books on my bed. It was quiet while the babes took naps and Andrea at school. It's been so nice having one on one time together. She is such a sweetie with those big brown eyes. She sings and prances around the house. I'm going to miss those afternoons.
Her teacher said that Lydia didn't do well with her dibbles evaluations. It has to do with sounds and speech for reading. Her teacher recommended that Lydia start extended day so that she can be more ready for first grade. I don't want first grade to be harder for her than it will already be. School is a lot different than when I was in kindergarten. They want children to be reading by the end of the year.

She wasn't happy about the idea. But after lots of talks and me pretending to be happy and how great it will be she got a little excited.
Friday morning Wade put on his school shirt and went up to the school. He helped in Lydia's classroom. The teacher had him pull individual kids into her office and work on letter sounds.  Then he went and helped in Andrea's classroom and helped the kids pass off sight words. Andrea has been begging him for awhile to come help at her class. I think it was really good for him. Now he is more tuned in to them and their needs. He went down and picked up Lydia and ate lunch with her and Andrea at school to prepare Lydia for Monday all day kindergarten. They had a great time. He took Lydia down after lunch to her knew extended day class and met the teacher. Then he took her home. Lydia was very excited. I was so happy for my good husband to go to the school and help Lydia prepare for extended day. I love him so much! He has been so objective about the whole thing. "She needs it, she is going." Mommy is the one having the hard time!!
Friday afternoon knowing it was my last afternoon with her before extended day kindergarten started was emotional for me. It felt like tears were in my throat......
I was sad.
Two of her little friends who are twins came by and gave her a little purse her mom made for Lydia and pictures for her in it. They said they were going to miss her while she is at extended day. They play a lot in the afternoons and won't be able to now so easily. Lydia was very happy and said it was her favorite purse! She immediately went to find special things to put inside it.
Sunday even before church Lydia was saying she didn't want to be gone all day. That night I put sponge curlers in her hair--that was the cure. She was extremely happy and excited to go to school with all those curls!

The day went ok. 12:00 came around and I was thinking about her and how she would usually be home at that time and I would have lunch ready for her. She is always happy to see me and give each other a big hug. Not today. I kept myself busy to not think about it.
She came home at 4:00 and was grumpy. I sighed and was afraid it was going to be this way everyday. She didn't want to talk about her day. She rushed off to practice the piano (after her first lesson she has practiced every single day without me asking her!) Meanwhile I talk to Andrea and prepare a snack.......

The next day went about the same. Not so grumpy this time. She told a little bit about the day but not much. She is asking when I'm going to pick her up early. I told her that sometimes I will pick her up and we will skip the afternoon class and go to McDonald's. She is really looking forward to it. Over all she likes her teacher and the kids in her extended day class. I think she is very happy at school and likes it. She comes home very tired.

For me I think being a mom is amazing. The children grow through different stages very fast. Its sad knowing when they grow through a stage its gone forever. But its joyful while they are in each stage and watching them learn knew things. Some stages are more joyful than others. Some stages I'm glad to be over......but there is something about even the hardest stages I enjoy.

I wish I could be the perfect mom. The last few nights I've felt no patience. I heard my daughters fighting in bed and felt like its my fault. It makes me sad especially because that's what I fasted for on Sunday. More patience. Its not a magical thing that just comes. I think I have to work harder to have patience. Not necessarily hard work. But what I mean is pay attention and make having patience more of a priority. Take time to relax, breath, pray, evaluate and ponder on how I'm doing with the day and life stresses. Its so hard to know during the day what are the most important things to spend energy on and what is not important. So at one point around 6:30pm before I felt like I was going to explode, I went in my room and shut the door. I put a couple drops of an essential oil that my cousin gave me on my upper chest and laid on the bed and just took some deep breaths. I tried to relax and calm down and let my frustrations go out of me while I exhaled. I think it helped. I'm going to try it before my girls come home off the bus. That way I'll be calm and ready for them.

This morning my goal is to make my two week meal plan. Take my babes and get the groceries. The hardest part is the planning and shopping....after that the next two weeks will be smooth sailing with stress-free meal preparations!!

Lydia my doll is truly one of my favorite people!! Words can't express my adoration for her!!

Tractor

Saturday we spent a few hours at the ranch with Grandpa. It's so good for kids to be outside and learn how to hang out while the adults are doing projects. Kids need to use their imaginations!
Love and Light!

Snow Day

Its snowing today. I'm very glad. My running partner still wanted to run. I had light snow in my face the whole time. But I'm glad I got out of the house. I'll be staying inside today and making bread.
Love and Light~