I decided to sneak a little post on my blog while the kids are playing outside with their dad. I'm sure they will be wanting me to come join them, but I like the small break.

I'm already feeling burned out on my meals. Imagine that! Well I do it to myself. The system is still good, its just the way I do it that is....? I don't know how to put it accept to say this;
I made a spaghetti dinner last night that took me 3 hours to make. On my feet for three hours! What am I crazy? And usually for people spaghetti is that quick meal that takes 15 minutes!!
The reason it took me so long was because I made my own French bread again...its soo yummy and really easy.
I made Italian meat balls to go in my homemade sauce (and I used home grown bottled tomatoes for the base--big diference) and sauted mushrooms.
Cesar salad and cookies.
I almost didn't want to even eat I was so exhausted!
I like to enjoy others eating my food.
I did feel good about my work but I can see that I need to be more careful. I still need to figure out how far to go. Maybe I will cook two really great meals a week and then quick meals the rest of the time. And this weekend I told Wade I am not cooking....except for the Chocolate Texas Sheet cake for his brothers birthday tomorrow. But that IS IT!

I've been running a lot lately. I hate it, I love it.

Wade and I made a very quick trip to the temple today between my moms bus runs. We did sealings. It was fabulouse. Its great to get away from life and realize why and how our life all started.....two people across an alter.
Love and Light

Simple Things

My sweet niece Makenze

I'm having a lot of fun with my new meal plan and new meals. I felt so great after making French bread for the first time. It was easy and delicious! I made Bruscheta with the bread which is a garlic bread with olive oil, tomatoes, parmesan and basil. It was so tasty with my creamy basil tomato soup! I had some bread left over and it has been a few days and I made the kids and I French Toast for lunch today. I think it was the best French Toast I've ever had! I have to rejoice in these simple things I do. Today I am making a chicken pot pie for the first time too. It is an easy recipe~ most of these recipes are so user friendly from the cookbook "The Food Nanny Rescues Dinner." Every woman needs one!

Yesterday was such a hard time getting ready for church. I felt tears about to spill out the hour before church started. It is so much work right now with all my children. Cutting Wade and Damon's hair earlier that morning didn't help the chaos. I normally don't cut hair on Sunday but yesterday I did. When we arrived at church I forgot that it was ward conference. What a treat! I love it when the stake comes to our ward. Everything is prepared extra special and I felt the spirit. I'm always happy to feel the spirit and look forward to it. Andrea gave her first talk in Primary. The other thing that added to my morning yesterday. Preparing for the talk with Andrea was no simple task. My girl is very emotional! We found great help with the "Friend" magazine. When Wade came home from feeding the horses that morning and saw Andrea and I preparing the talk he asked if we had prayed beforehand. I felt bad that we hadn't and we were on the verge of Andrea having a melt down. Frustrations were in the air. Thankfully Wade offered the prayer. It helped a lot--for the both of us! Wade and I both came into primary to hear her give her talk. She did a great job! I felt so proud of my sweetheart!

Speaking of Sweethearts I heard my girls in the back of the car the other day and I heard Lydia very loudly talking to Andrea.


"I love it so much when Mommy calls me sweetheart!"


"When Mommy calls me sweetheart I love it!"

When I heard that it made me feel sooo good and of course I didn't realize that when I called her a sweetheart that she loved it so much and made her feel good. She still tells me that I am her favorite people at least once a day. I hope that she always thinks of me as her favorite people. I love my kids so much and want them to feel safe, peace and loved in our home.

I hate it when I show my frustrations with my children. I wish I could magically change myself. But it takes a lot of work and awareness...I really hope to never lose patience and I hope to achieve that in this life. One step at a time and one prayer at a time!

After church yesterday and making a quick taco salad for everyone I rushed to my niece Makenze's house and helped her do her hair and make-up before we went to her first New Beginnings. She will be turning 12 this coming August. I was so excited to go to New Beginnings with her. She was shy but looked excited to be there. The people were very friendly and welcoming. My mom and aunt showed up too. I sat next to her and had my arm around her most of the time. I feel so much love and care for my niece. As I enjoyed the program I remembered when I was in Young Womens and the faith and testimony that was strengthened there. I want every woman to feel that they are daughters of God and to have a desire to be true, chaste, benevolent, honest, virtuous, having integrity and doing good to others and value themselves as beautiful, important, worthwhile etc.... I especially want my nieces and daughters to feel and know that for themselves. A virtuous woman is priceless.


We came back to my house and we skyped her mother. It was very good. I felt emotional taking Mak home and I missed her mother and wished she could have come with us to New Beginnings.

Love and Light

Another day trying to figure this life out. Are we all ready for another post from this deep thinker? I suppose I am ready to post.
The affirmations I'm doing are going well. After taping them to the shower it has helped me be consistent in saying them. And then....I had a set back in my thinking. I felt myself twirl down into those discouraging thoughts. I felt like the affirmations were stupid--because I was doubting. I hate that! Why can't I be perfect? Why can't I trust and have faith every second? I let the emotions in for a couple of days and felt like I was having a harder time with the children and not being my best self. But I kept saying to myself that everything is okay and my future is so bright and wonderful and kept saying those affirmations. I needed to keep thinking of all my blessings. But when I'm in a discouraging mood its like torture giving up my pride and saying, oh fine I'll start thinking of what I'm grateful for. Its starts really slow ie... "well I do have a house; not a big one but I do have one....." And when I do that I realize how wonderful my life is now. And I'm trying to keep that feeling but its hard to do. I've been feeling fed up with myself wanting to be stronger and more grateful. One of the best things to help me do that is to exercise. The weather is so warm lately. I said yesterday, "I am going running in the morning." I got all of my stuff out and set my alarm and felt good about my good intentions. When morning came I did NOT want to get up. Why is it so hard to follow through on goals like that? I made myself get up. I am soo glad I did. I can feel stress melting away with every step of my run. Combine that with the affirmations and its a great recipe for happiness!

I have been rescued by the food nanny. I purchased her cook book after seeing her on byutv. I now plan dinner two weeks in advance. I shop at the store once. Every day I wake up and don't have to lament over what I'm making for dinner. It is all planned out and I don't have to worry and stress over it. It really is life changing for me. In her book she talks about making a theme for dinner on different days of the week. Monday is comfort food, Tuesday is Italian night, Wednesday is fish/meatless, Thursday is Mexican night, Friday is Pizza, Saturday is Grill night and Sunday is Family Tradition night. I am realizing that I can actually have a couple of days for leftovers. I might even make Sunday a left over night for now because it seems to be my hardest day of the week. So I am working on how to tweak the food nanny's idea for my family.
After finding this great new way I feel relieved! Last night I made her 3 bean chili with cinnamon rolls. It turned out really well and it is easy recipe's. I liked the cinnamon roll recipe because it wasn't a monster batch. It was just one pan of rolls and it made making them very easy and manageable.

Wondering why I haven't posted the potty training? After trying for a few days I realized....He is NOT ready. As much as Wade and I wish he was ready he simply is not. How do I know? 3 days of trying and no success. Diapers back on and I will try again when he is closer to 3 years. I think it is harder to potty train a child the more children you have because my attention is stretched between each child. I cant watch him every second looking for signs of when he needs to go potty. Plus he won't talk. I have to be able to communicate with him better. I thought we could get by because he understands what I say but he doesn't communicate back well enough. One time I asked a pediatrician about when to potty train and he said, "As long as they are potty trained before they get married." The point being, its not a big deal on the timing. But I'm pretty sure the kindergarten teachers won't change your kids diaper. ;)

Not a Random Thought

So is it true that we have to live in a state of pain and struggle to learn lessons in life? Can I live in a state of joy and happiness and still have compassion and humility? Can I smile and say "I'm doing great!" Is that okay? Will people not like me if I act like life is wonderful...because it really is. I want to live life in joy, happiness, and prosperity. I can create that. I am working on it every day. In fact, today I taped a bunch of great affirmations and beliefs I want for myself on the shower wall.

I have been reading this book. Its called, Remembering Wholeness by Carol Tuttle. Every chapter I read I think, yes yes yes this is true and amazing! No matter what is going on in your life you can turn it around and live in more joy and happiness. A lot of your life is what it is because of your own energy and thoughts.

Also in this book it tells you about what your children need to hear. Its really amazing. After reading some of the book I was with my children and I naturally started talking to Andrea like this.

"I want to tell you, All of your needs and desires are important to me."

"There is nothing you have to do for me to love you."

"I love you no matter what you do."

"Do you think I love Bella more then you?"

she nodds her head yes

"I love you and Bella the same. I can't carry you around in my arms anymore because you are growing and getting bigger but I still love to sit close to you and tickle your back and arms. I am happy you are growing and learning. We have a lot of fun together. Everything you see me do with the baby I have done with you. I even spent more time with you because when you were born there wasn't any other children around. You are a very important part of this family."

I then talked to her about her strengths and talents. After our little conversation she seemed to glow all day. And I felt like a good mother.

This book tells you the things your children need to hear at different ages. It is awesome!!!

Another way I'm trying to change my life is: buying a cookbook from the Food Nanny. I can't wait for it to get hear! She teaches to shop once and have two weeks of meals lined out. Knowing what I'm making for dinner for two whole weeks at a time will take away sooo much stress in my life! Yay!

love and light