I don't know how long I've been awake. Since at least 2 something. Hear it is 4:38 and sleep will not come. I see the lightning flashing through the window and hear the grumbling thunder. The rain keeps coming down in torrents, crashing on the window. The freeway is noisier as the cars and trucks plow through what must be by now a heavy amount of water gathering on the roads. I feel very tired and nervous. My mind wont let me sleep and I find myself saying little prayers again. I keep getting scared and worried, that's when the praying starts. I wonder if this sleepless night is stemming from the steroid shot they gave me in the hospital yesterday. Its probably a toss up.
I realize that I am 31 weeks pregnant. I realize that I am 3 cm dilated. I realize that I have 3 beautiful babies sleeping quietly right now. They need my physical touch, my calming words, they need interaction with me one on one. They need to be fed good meals and their hair done pretty, clean clothes to wear and they need to see mommy smiling and teaching them all the good things about life and the hope we have in Jesus Christ, that Heavenly Father hears our prayers and loves us.
Please let me keep this baby in full term. Please let me be hear in my home with my family, even if I have to lay on the couch all day every day. Please help me get the rest I need, and that sleep will come.
