Today I felt this overwhelming sadness. Completely Sad. It was awful. I had rays of sunshine from my children. Especially my son crawling over and laying his head on me giving me hugs throughout the day.
The sadness overcame me. I got a call from a family member. This person gave me feedback on my blog stating that they weren't the only one to think that my blog made me and or my husband look really bad. After I got off the phone I really thought about it.
But I was already so sad and having a hard time that I felt like isolating myself.
I removed all my posts and had my cursor on the delete profile on my face book account, ready to end all contact from everyone so I could be alone in all my sadness and any critical eyes.
I held off on deleting the profile.
At 4:00 I was crying and thought that I could not go to my Visiting Teaching appointments that started at 5. I almost called my companion to cancel. But I didn't. I just let the emotions come and subside and still went VTing. I'm trying to be obedient here. No matter how I feel. Even though I feel terrible. I don't want anyone else to suffer.

Luckily when I came home I saw my mothers car in the driveway. The only person that might might be able to help me, maybe. Help me in my suffering. Wade went to his scouting. And my mother helped me a lot. She was a little cautious of me. I couldn't hide the pain showing in my face and she could read it. She really had the spirit with her to say the things I needed to hear and listen to the few things I can even say out loud. She helped me get my vision back.
thank you thank you thank you

I thought about the feedback I received on my blog and I feel that it is true. I am speaking the truth about what is going on. Admitting to my weaknesses and that things are hard for me right now. I geuss that may be uncomfortable for someone that I am admiting these things. I don't want to pretend to be perfect and I want to be more down to earth with other women so we can help each other. Isolating myself is not the right thing to do. Deep down I don't want to do that. My hope is that through sharing I might help someone else and be helped myself.

Any thoughts? You can comment anonymously if you want to. Is my blog too personal? I'm not afraid. I am curious as to what, those of you who read this stuff, think.