Hypochondriac

The hypochondriac is worse today.

All day it has been about her tummy ache, eye worries, ear worries. She asks me the same questions over and over. My mom came over today after coming back from a ward preparedness meeting and dove into talking about the pandemic. My mom mentioned something about how the virus travels by droplets and how it can travel through the eyes. Unfortunately my hypochondriacs little ears were listening. She was standing close by me and almost in tears. "What is she saying about the eyes?" she asks trying to hold back the tears.

Earlier that day she was asking me if she could go blind. I asked her, "Who do we know that is blind?" She said no one except Mary on the Little House on the Praire. I told her that Mary went blind after getting the scarlet fever and that we do not get scarlet fever anymore. She says, "So its imposible to go blind now?" And for all intents and purposes I said, yes! She said she was glad not to worry about that anymore.

I stopped our adult conversation of the Pandemic and calmed the situation down. The rest of the day she is talking about when to wash her hands. I told her that only mommy worries about the germs and tells you when to wash your hands. Mostly when we come home from the store and after you go potty. The last thing I need is for her to be washing her hands all day because she is afraid of germs.

The other day she was worried because a cousin of hers coughed on her. Thus the big conversation about Immune Systems! Our bodies know how to fight most of the germs.

We can no longer talk about anything that could worry her little mind. Save it for when the kids are in bed. Evan at bedtime again the questions the worried looks. IT kills me. Why is she so worried? She shouldn't have a care in the world!

7/2/09

Catch up

We wen't to Vegas and had my Dad look in all of the holes in her head and talked to her about how she is healthy and nothing is wrong. It helped a little. It is hard to think now about what has happened since I can hardly get any time on the computer to do updates. She worries about me dying, her dying, the house burning down...

Little Jimmy lost a tooth when we saw him this week in Salt Lake. She asked non stop about when she will lose teeth and is it possible to swallow the tooth. My mother in law came over and said I went blind for about two weeks.....yada yada yada. I looked around..luckily my little ones ears missed that. I had to tell my mother in law all about the trouble we have been having and to watch what she says.

We left the temple this week after a wedding and my mom says in the car as we drive away, "I hope that the bride eats something so she doesn't faint latter on." My little one is on top of that one. "what does faint mean?" "Why do you have to eat food or you could faint?" "Could I faint if I take to long to eat?" I was not happy. Stop the insanity! It takes so much of my energy everyday answering her questions and calming her every hour!

Wind, do you have to blow every day?

Summer, when will I see your shinning face?



My poor sweet 5 year old princess is having a very hard time. It is now a problem that we can't ignore or downplay. I don't know how to explain it. It seems like she is almost a hypocondriac and huge worrier. She is constantly asking me about something on her body. "Will you die if you can't see? I can't hear out of my ear and now I'm worrying about it." We cleaned it out and still..."Can you die if you can't hear?" "It is hard to swallow and I'm worried that I could die from it. What will happen if I can't swallow? Is that owie gone on my back? Will the sugar bugs eat holes in my teeth? I think I should brush them right now because I'm worried about it. What room is Mommy in? Where did mommy go? Where is Lydia? I'm afraid that other baby will hurt Damon. What if I can't find you? What will you be doing when I'm in bed?" We went to the park today and she wouldn't run off and play like her 3 year old sister. She started crying when I insisted that she play. She wen't to a birthday party where they had a whole bunch of blow up bouncing things for kids to play on. She wouldn't play because she was so worried about her sister getting hurt.

It came to me last night that maybe it is all stemming from her favorite show. Little House on the Prairie. A lot of unfortunate things happen to the people on the show. I am a worrier about some things but not anywhere near what she does. I don't worry about getting hurt and I call scrapes and bruises battle wounds from playing...its a good thing because it means we are having fun. It is a daily struggle. I can't wait for soccer and kindergarten to start....i'm sure it will make a difference!



I also have been thinking alot about people. What people say about things, how they judge situations, people, and what their opinions are, and then watch their actions in the future. How people can say something is right or something is wrong. One person may say something is so wrong yet they may do that same thing but change the wording of the situation to convice themselves it is not the same and justify what they do because it benifits them in some way.

Day to Day

June 1, 2009
What is on the agenda for today? Laundry Laundry Laundry. It is easier for me to do it all in one day because my house is so small. Get it done and put away. I had a bad morning because my baby was up half of the night. It was hard because he usually sleeps all through the night. I think he must be teething. He is such a joy to me. I just stopped nursing him last week. He is 91/2 months old. I cried the day I stopped. I wanted to stop but I felt sad to end that special time. They grow so fast. Nursing is convenient yet inconvenient!

Last night before the kids went to bed we went in our back yard, where we recently put grass, laid a blanket down and hung out. We played tag on the grass with the kids. It was a good family moment. I love to watch our garden grow. I catch myself looking out my bedroom window to see the growing progress. It is going to be beautiful this season.

June 8, 2009
Today is the first day I feel a little easier to breath around here. We finally put grass in the backyard and cleared the side door in the garage so the girls can go outside in the backyard completely fenced in and safe and I can stay inside and watch them come in and out and not worry. It is an amazing feeling. Let them go out and scream and laugh and run run run. And give me a little wiggle room. aaahhhh.
My sweet son is now crawling and getting himself back into a sitting position from his belly. He also started clapping his hands. What a happy baby. What joy he brings to me. Today I went on a special errand to Wal-Mart just to by him food. I spent $50. One of the inconveniences of not nursing. But I only have til August to buy the formula.
My good husband and I have been reading articles in the Conference Ensign every morning. I really like that. It feels so relevant. Scripture written in our days. We read the BOM, D&C, Pearl of Great Price. It is a necessity for us and has made a big difference in our family. We started the Lectures on Faith. That was very tedious reading. Trying to read it cover to cover was painful, so we stopped.
My lessons on Sunday are amazing. I love the children. I teach the 11 turning 12 year olds. I had a great day at church yesterday. I fasted for the first time in a year in a half because of being pregnant and nursing. It felt great and I am looking forward to strengthening my testimony about fasting. So often in Sacrament I will think. Sure I haven't borne my testimony in awhile. But I haven't had anything amazing happen to me this week or lately....and I don't know what to say. But because of some recent family events I started pondering alot about my testimony. I realized that my simple testimony of the Savior is in fact amazing and wonderful. That it should be shared often. I realized how I take for granted the things that I do know because I thought it was common knowledge. How silly to think that. But some how in my bubble at home that is how I felt. It was a good Sunday. I am in good spirits today as well. Such a relief from the despair I have felt lately.