Tuesday

A week ago today my step mother died.

It has been a horrible ordeal.

But I have learned a lot about love and family.

I've been thrown for a loop. My dad has had such a terrible time with it.

We had a bitter sweet weekend with the funeral and being with family.

Seeing my dad grieve for his wife terrifies me. I pray that I don't experience that.

It's nice during times like this to have my little baby with me.

She feels like an angel from heaven as my companion.

There is something about new life that brings so much hope.

Therapy

Last years garden
It was a long exhausting day taking care of my 4 children and trying to keep up on the housework. Wade came home from work and was tinkering in the garage and front yard with the kids. It was a beautiful summer evening.

I started to dose off while nursing my baby. She was being a little fussy the last couple of hours and I needed a break. I lay her down to sleep, and as exhausted as I felt from the long day and the baby still getting up every two hours in the night, I felt the need to relieve some stress. I found some old pants with a hole in the knee and put them on. As well as socks and shoes--I hate spiders and I know my garden is full of them.

In the garage I grab the hoe and quickly go to the backyard before anyone sees me. I need some alone time. The weeds were getting big and the roots on some of them are deep. I swing that hoe as hard as I can over and over. My heart rate goes up and I stop now and then to stretch my back. It is hard work but it feels so good. All the sudden I feel pain in my hand. I look down at it and couldn't believe I had a blister that fast and it tore open. Ouch!!! As the air hits it, it stings. What am I doing without my gloves on?? I quickly go back to the garage and get my gloves. Andrea follows me and watches me rake and how the weeds. We talk. Wade and the other kids eventually come out and I feel so proud of what I've accomplished. The wheel barrow is completely full of weeds and the garden looks great. That's what I call good therapy!

Capital Reef

These are all the pictures we took of our visit to Capital Reef. The amazing thing is that it is located at Fruita Historic District. They have agreed to preserve the history of the Mormon settlers when they made it a National Park. So when you go you get a great history lesson of the Mormon settlers. They have restored the school house and they have a lot of pioneer artifacts. They have over 800 trees in the orchards that you can pick fruit for free and keep. Unfortunately it wasn't the season to pick but next time we plan on going in August or September! Plus this park is free! No entrance fees! The girls accomplished the junior ranger program. We had a great time hiking to an arch and enjoying everything about the area!

This was Bella's first trip and she did so great.

Chimney rock Capital Reef!!!

Wade and I have talked for a few years about how we wanted to go to Capital Reef, Fruita. I had memories of Fruita when I was 14 searching for my cousin Trevor. We felt so happy to finally make it there.

If you continue on the highway you pass through the Boulder mountains on the way to Capital Reef National park. I know this is what my Dad was thinking of when he joined us. It was beautiful. My thoughts of Trevor never stopped. The whole scene played through my mind. The searching, searching, prayers and the tragic ending. May we never forget our cousin, brother, and son!

When we got to Calf Creek (my favorite place to camp) Wade saw smoke coming out of the hood. He opened the hood to see a full blown fire! Luckily the night before he made sure he knew where the fire extinguisher was and that it was working. He ripped it right out of its bracket on the wall and put out the fire. We are blessed that the whole thing didn't burn to the ground. So now we are stranded at the camp site with fire damage. My husband is the most talented mechanic I know and was able to diagnose the problem. My father was planning on meeting up with us that day and we were able to get a hold of him to have him bring us the new parts we needed and the tools. My husband had it fixed within a few hours. Amazing!!

It was so nice to see my father and his wife join us. He didn't expect to meet up with us in the desert. He imagined the mountains. My poor step mother is so very very sick. It breaks my heart into a thousand pieces. She can't talk, doesn't know who she is, who we are, where she is, what her husbands name is and will barely eat or drink anything. She runs into things and looks lost and scared. It is the worst thing I have ever seen a person go through. Her person is gone and only her body remains with a shell of who she used to be. My father is taking such good care of her and refuses to put her into an Alzheimer's unit. She is only 59 and has been suffering, slowly declining for 10 years. It was so nice that my dad made such a desperate effort to try to go and do something with us. I have such fond memories of camping on the fourth of July with my father on our horse pack trips. We would paint the horses red white and blue and ride the trails with our United States Flag waving behind us. We would sit in a meadow and sing songs together. But since my step mother has gotten sick we haven't been able to do any of that for about 9 years.




This is the hike at Calf Creek that leads to this amazing water fall and refreshing pool of water. It is a six mile hike round trip and everyone did so great! My four year old Lydia had a hard time walking back and cried a lot but she really pulled it together to make it back. I think it teaches them so much to try to do hard things and to not give up.

On the way home we had another unfortunate event. A flat tire! We felt so blessed that it didn't blow and it was only the tread coming off. Because when the front tire blows your steering goes with it and the chances of a roll over are very high. We had a fun time taking my in-laws motor home this time instead of the tent trailer. It was a lot less work setting up and we had a bathroom with us all the time. It made camping much more comfortable but---we did have a lot of break downs!!!

When we go to national parks we seem to be looked at like an endangered species. The people look at us with their mouths dropped open. They speak in their foreign language as soon as they see us. I can imagine what they say: "one, two, three, and oh my she has a brand new one strapped to her! Four kids and this couple looks soo young!"

We actually did hear a man from France counting as we walked by.

It is annoying. Your the weirdos in our country. This is our back yard!! Don't you know life is about family?

You should see some of the hikers. It is funny. Some hikers obviously American are a little weird too. They are stomping down the trail with large hiking boots with socks sticking way up their leg. They have all the tan, green colored clothing: long below the knee shorts, a long sleeved shirt, a large hat to shade the face, sunglasses, a camel back water carrier, a large walking stick, and odds and ends bouncing around the waist connected to the belt. Such as sun block, camera, and a snack. And the odd thing is, just after them will be a group walking obviously from Europe who have clothing on that to me looks like they are ready to step onto a cruise ship. They have fashionable sandals not fit for hiking, loose fitting white pants that go mid-calf, and a loose fitting fashionable shirt that breathes well. They have on sunglasses and are carrying at most a camera and nothing else, not even water in the hot sun. Of course this was just a two mile hike to an arch. The six mile hike we went on we don't see the ones about to step onto a cruise ship.

I really should have taken pictures of all these people. It is so odd the extremes.