I need to be more careful about my posts.

I sertainly didn't intend to hurt anyone's feelings, while expressing my own hurt ones.

Life is full of daily lessons.

Lesson for yesterday: be more careful on my blog.

Lesson for today: don't ignore signs of a bladder infection for a couple of days! Ouch!

I asked my doctor dad: what is wrong with me lately? He says, its not you its just this telestial world we live in.

Yesterday was a nice day. The kids played really well together. I answered a lot of phones. Is 4-5 a lot? It is when business has been so dead lately. That reminds me I must invoice today.

I spent time with the baby, played on the floor with Damon and Andrea and I had our teeth cleaned. The hygienist who was subbing in was a little rough. I cleaned some things, had the girls pick up. Andrea during the day is mostly hovering around me. That is what it feels like. If she isn't playing with Lydia then Lydia is playing with Damon and Andrea is following me around talking to me. She talks to me endlessly. The big talk lately is about her hair. She wants to cut her hair. She can't stand her hair on her neck and is very hot blooded. She sleeps naked every night and always wants her hair up and away from her skin. So I watched some YouTube videos about how to cut a bob. Andrea knows just how she wants her hair. Short in the back and longer in the front. Well okay then. But after watching the videos I confirmed to myself that I cannot do this. Too complicated! So I tell Wade, "I looked into it and I cannot do it. Sorry!" I made an appointment to have my favorite hair dresser do it. I think I can cut her hair after that once the lines are already there. Wade is always wanting me to do things myself. He has such confidence in me! "Can't you just do it?"

When Wade got home I had dinner ready. We ate and they loved the strogenof. Then I was off to Andrea's first soccer practice by myself with all the kids and Wade was off to the ranch to work. The practice was awesome. I'm so happy about her coach.

When we got home it was bedtime. Lydia said before we prayed, "I miss daddy, he is working too much at night." just now Lydia woke up and came over to me by the computer and said, "I never see daddy in the night. Why does he work so much in the night? I miss him." That makes me feel sad. Our schedule sure has changed a lot.

When Wade did come home he was so tired. I felt like having a long talk about whatever, but I knew he wasn't up for it.

My mom has been popping in every day.

"So have you talked to anybody?"

"no"

"oh"

The next day.

"Have you talked to anybody? Cheryl call?"

"no"

"oh, just wondering."

I feel bad that I'm the only one around. She needs more then just little ol me.

I had a great teaching moment with Lydia about lieing and telling the truth.

"Did you do it? Somebody filled this up with water. Was it you?"

"no, I didn't. Well, Damon didn't and Andrea didn't....and........."

"did you do it?"

".......uhm.....uhm......"

"Lydia look at me. You wont get in trouble. I just need to know what is in here. Did you do it?"

"....uhm....no"

"Well somebody did it. And your both going into the corner until whoever did it tell me they did."

Andrea is insisting that she didn't do it all along.

A few minutes pass.

"Lydia? did you do it?"

"...uhm.....no."

"Lydia you wont get in trouble, if you did. Did you do it?"

"..nnnn....nn...nooo."

Two more minutes pass while they are in the corners.

"Lydia did you do it?"

She looks at me with a pained look on her face. She starts nodding her head yes, "uh huh."

Then came a long conversation about lieing, and telling the truth, and being honest, and about what Jesus wants us to do.

Afterwards I felt so good that I am home with my children and can focus on them and teach them. Who better to do that than me?

I thought Bella's two month appointment was this morning and looked on the calender to be sure--4 o'clock? What, am I insane? I can't even blame my pregnant mind. Well that was a relief. I don't want to rush out of the house this morning. I want to blog and so I am.

Since all the excitement from the pregnancy is over I wonder sometimes what to write about. I enjoy the writing.

I was trying to work out my schedule to see my dad this week. But with soccer starting and a dental appointment I don't think I can manage it. Next week Damon turns 2 and school starts. And that means I get to have that special dinner for Andrea starting school. I am amazed that school is starting again.

But what I worry about most is....money. I hate money. Can we please live in consecration! Can life just be simple? I hate worrying about it and the mess we are trying to get out of. I could probably blog all day about it. You know what the most ridiculous thing we spend our money on and that we are forced to spend it on is? Insurance. Wicked people have made this world a complicated place. Life insurance, medical insurance, car insurance, homeowners insurance, business insurance......

My daughters got their ears pierced. Unfortunately for Andrea the lady missed the mark and we had to get one ear redone a few days later. I decided to reward them for riding their bikes. After Andrea pierced hers Lydia wanted them done so bad that she rode her bike two days later!I love that about raising kids, watching them learn knew things and do things for the first time.

I did have a nice afternoon yesterday considering. I got a short nap. We watched part of, The Testaments and I made an apple pie. I love making pies on Sunday. It is easy easy and the crust is always perfect and best of all my husband loves them. We went out to the ranch to water the horses and it was so beautiful.

But the coolest part of all was when we got home. We went out back to check on cherry tomatoes and we started throwing a football to each other. It was slightly windy, and stormy, the thunder was rumbling and the lightning was flashing. We threw that football to each other and said things like:

"Don't we have such a beautiful backyard?

Yea

Aren't we so glad we finished the backyard?

Yea, totally!

Remember what the property used to look like?

Haven't we made it so nice now?

Yea, It is nice!"

The wind started really picking up and the thunder and lightning increased. It was getting really exciting. We started feeling the rain coming. It smelled amazing! And we started yelling and squealing and running into the house. "Come on Damon!" Daddy grabbed him. "Hurry!!"

As soon as we came into the house it down poured! We looked out the front window and said, "Holy Cow! Look at that! And we were almost in it!" And lastly we marveled at our beautiful glob willow that we planted when we first moved in as it hung low from the pouring rain. "Don't we just love our tree? and look how beautiful it is."

I end with that memorable moment and now start my day!

Today

Maybe I should blog.

Since I haven't for awhile.

I am completely overwhelmed by problems.

Not my kids this time.

My kids are doing great.

Not my hubby either- thank heavens.

Nothing feels worse then Not getting along with my eternal comp.

Luckily they are all doing good.

Other things are STRESSING me out completely.

I'm praying constantly. "Please help me feel peace. And have the spirit."

I pray and feel peace. A little while later I don't. So I pray again and feel peace. And awhile later I don't.

Thus the scripture---'Pray Always'----i totally get it!

My little angel baby is doing so wonderful. I still find myself wanting to hold her where it is quiet. Its hard to find that quiet time that I can be with her. When I do I cherish it. I'm always trying to tell the children to be quiet around her. She is, after all, newly arrived from heaven.

My Andrea is so excited to get her ears pierced.

This summer I told her that we would pierce her ears after she rode her bike everyday for a week. She has totally succeeded. To my total joy!

We went bike ridding up the canyon trail after she had been riding her bike for awhile.

I had the baby in my wrap. Wade had Lydia and Damon in the bike trailer.

I didn't think Andrea would be able to make it very far.

Thanks to my pessimistic scorpion tendencies.

But to my total amazement, she was like this determined little lion trudging up the hills! It was a beautiful site to see your daughter riding her bike WITH the family and eating it up!

It seems like with my Andrea when we are home doing normal usual things she tends to whine and complain. But when we do hard things, like hiking and riding her bike up big hills, she gets excited, determined, and not one complaint.

I thought, "I think I found my future tri-athalon partner!"

My little Lydie is a special girl. She has many gifts.

One of which is the way she shows love and compliments us.

"Mommy your beautiful. You my favorite people."

"Mommy do you know who my favorite people is? YOU!"

"I love you so much, you my favorite people."

"Do you know who my two favorite people are? You and Daddy. I love you so much."

"Daddy is the best worker and you are the best cooker. You make the yummiest food."

most of the time what she says is followed by hugs and kisses!

When we were camping at Capital Reef, we were camped near this couple. And Lydia stood in the doorway of the motor home and said to the woman across from us, "Your beautiful, you know." I couldn't believe my ears. Unfortunately the woman didn't hear her.

My Damon is super happy lately. Still no talky.

We have fun during the day. And he follows his sister around. He and Lydia play together really well. In the evenings he follows daddy around helping him fix things. He is a character to watch. He gets all excited and runs around in circles where daddy is fixing things. He holds a wrench or screw driver and pokes at things, being the big helper.

Two things are making my life a little easier.

1. The girls are finally washing their own hair. Hallelujah!

2. They are able to help me clean up more and more.

Tuesday

A week ago today my step mother died.

It has been a horrible ordeal.

But I have learned a lot about love and family.

I've been thrown for a loop. My dad has had such a terrible time with it.

We had a bitter sweet weekend with the funeral and being with family.

Seeing my dad grieve for his wife terrifies me. I pray that I don't experience that.

It's nice during times like this to have my little baby with me.

She feels like an angel from heaven as my companion.

There is something about new life that brings so much hope.

Therapy

Last years garden
It was a long exhausting day taking care of my 4 children and trying to keep up on the housework. Wade came home from work and was tinkering in the garage and front yard with the kids. It was a beautiful summer evening.

I started to dose off while nursing my baby. She was being a little fussy the last couple of hours and I needed a break. I lay her down to sleep, and as exhausted as I felt from the long day and the baby still getting up every two hours in the night, I felt the need to relieve some stress. I found some old pants with a hole in the knee and put them on. As well as socks and shoes--I hate spiders and I know my garden is full of them.

In the garage I grab the hoe and quickly go to the backyard before anyone sees me. I need some alone time. The weeds were getting big and the roots on some of them are deep. I swing that hoe as hard as I can over and over. My heart rate goes up and I stop now and then to stretch my back. It is hard work but it feels so good. All the sudden I feel pain in my hand. I look down at it and couldn't believe I had a blister that fast and it tore open. Ouch!!! As the air hits it, it stings. What am I doing without my gloves on?? I quickly go back to the garage and get my gloves. Andrea follows me and watches me rake and how the weeds. We talk. Wade and the other kids eventually come out and I feel so proud of what I've accomplished. The wheel barrow is completely full of weeds and the garden looks great. That's what I call good therapy!

Capital Reef

These are all the pictures we took of our visit to Capital Reef. The amazing thing is that it is located at Fruita Historic District. They have agreed to preserve the history of the Mormon settlers when they made it a National Park. So when you go you get a great history lesson of the Mormon settlers. They have restored the school house and they have a lot of pioneer artifacts. They have over 800 trees in the orchards that you can pick fruit for free and keep. Unfortunately it wasn't the season to pick but next time we plan on going in August or September! Plus this park is free! No entrance fees! The girls accomplished the junior ranger program. We had a great time hiking to an arch and enjoying everything about the area!

This was Bella's first trip and she did so great.

Chimney rock Capital Reef!!!

Wade and I have talked for a few years about how we wanted to go to Capital Reef, Fruita. I had memories of Fruita when I was 14 searching for my cousin Trevor. We felt so happy to finally make it there.

If you continue on the highway you pass through the Boulder mountains on the way to Capital Reef National park. I know this is what my Dad was thinking of when he joined us. It was beautiful. My thoughts of Trevor never stopped. The whole scene played through my mind. The searching, searching, prayers and the tragic ending. May we never forget our cousin, brother, and son!

When we got to Calf Creek (my favorite place to camp) Wade saw smoke coming out of the hood. He opened the hood to see a full blown fire! Luckily the night before he made sure he knew where the fire extinguisher was and that it was working. He ripped it right out of its bracket on the wall and put out the fire. We are blessed that the whole thing didn't burn to the ground. So now we are stranded at the camp site with fire damage. My husband is the most talented mechanic I know and was able to diagnose the problem. My father was planning on meeting up with us that day and we were able to get a hold of him to have him bring us the new parts we needed and the tools. My husband had it fixed within a few hours. Amazing!!

It was so nice to see my father and his wife join us. He didn't expect to meet up with us in the desert. He imagined the mountains. My poor step mother is so very very sick. It breaks my heart into a thousand pieces. She can't talk, doesn't know who she is, who we are, where she is, what her husbands name is and will barely eat or drink anything. She runs into things and looks lost and scared. It is the worst thing I have ever seen a person go through. Her person is gone and only her body remains with a shell of who she used to be. My father is taking such good care of her and refuses to put her into an Alzheimer's unit. She is only 59 and has been suffering, slowly declining for 10 years. It was so nice that my dad made such a desperate effort to try to go and do something with us. I have such fond memories of camping on the fourth of July with my father on our horse pack trips. We would paint the horses red white and blue and ride the trails with our United States Flag waving behind us. We would sit in a meadow and sing songs together. But since my step mother has gotten sick we haven't been able to do any of that for about 9 years.




This is the hike at Calf Creek that leads to this amazing water fall and refreshing pool of water. It is a six mile hike round trip and everyone did so great! My four year old Lydia had a hard time walking back and cried a lot but she really pulled it together to make it back. I think it teaches them so much to try to do hard things and to not give up.

On the way home we had another unfortunate event. A flat tire! We felt so blessed that it didn't blow and it was only the tread coming off. Because when the front tire blows your steering goes with it and the chances of a roll over are very high. We had a fun time taking my in-laws motor home this time instead of the tent trailer. It was a lot less work setting up and we had a bathroom with us all the time. It made camping much more comfortable but---we did have a lot of break downs!!!

When we go to national parks we seem to be looked at like an endangered species. The people look at us with their mouths dropped open. They speak in their foreign language as soon as they see us. I can imagine what they say: "one, two, three, and oh my she has a brand new one strapped to her! Four kids and this couple looks soo young!"

We actually did hear a man from France counting as we walked by.

It is annoying. Your the weirdos in our country. This is our back yard!! Don't you know life is about family?

You should see some of the hikers. It is funny. Some hikers obviously American are a little weird too. They are stomping down the trail with large hiking boots with socks sticking way up their leg. They have all the tan, green colored clothing: long below the knee shorts, a long sleeved shirt, a large hat to shade the face, sunglasses, a camel back water carrier, a large walking stick, and odds and ends bouncing around the waist connected to the belt. Such as sun block, camera, and a snack. And the odd thing is, just after them will be a group walking obviously from Europe who have clothing on that to me looks like they are ready to step onto a cruise ship. They have fashionable sandals not fit for hiking, loose fitting white pants that go mid-calf, and a loose fitting fashionable shirt that breathes well. They have on sunglasses and are carrying at most a camera and nothing else, not even water in the hot sun. Of course this was just a two mile hike to an arch. The six mile hike we went on we don't see the ones about to step onto a cruise ship.

I really should have taken pictures of all these people. It is so odd the extremes.